This poem is not in fact inspired by the violence post yesterday, but by a conversation I had with a few students in my class. Who informed me bullying was not a big deal because if someone bullies you, then you just hit them until they stop. They continued to say beating someone up is always the best answer to your problems.
My heart is
broken
for you
how do you
manage to stay
so angry
everyday?
Your soul
must
be
so
heavy
How do you
manage to
breathe
everyday?
When all
I see is
fire
coming out of
your mouth
Keep looking
behind
you
maybe one day
you will catch them
“those people”
out to get
you
But
be
warned my friend
if you
only
answer
with
violence
Violence
is
all
you
will
find
nevercontrary 
This breaks my heart.
Mine too. Deborah. Mine too.
Good post, and interesting poem. However, as someone who was bullied throughout the entirety of my school life in the uk, I’d have to concour with your students.
Teachers, parents and everyone in between were completely ineffective at helpin me and stopping the bullying. What did stop it was me going up to the ringleaders and beating the living hell out of them.
I will say that for several years afterwards I was angry at a lot of things (though I never lashed out) however now I find that I am rather calm and that fire within is not so hot. Though when I see someone going through the same, I do find I see red and fight on their behalf.
It may seem that violence isn’t the best answer, but sometimes it’s the only language some people understand.
Dani
I totally respect that. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I think what was making me sad was that they think the only option is to hit someone every time and in every situation. Not to ever try anything else. I do know the world will never be without violence. But a girl can dream right.
It’s not a bad dream to have. I’d be the happiest man alive if I never had to raise my fists again (luckily, since I stopped the bullying the only reason I’ve had to fight has been to defend others). But we unfortunately live in a world where people have no fear of the law, and so feel they can do anything they want. And although there are occasionally there are non-violent solutions, they only work on occasion.
I feel for your students, but whilst they are right in the sense of dealing with bullies, they need to be taught that there is a very thin line between beating the bully and being the bully.
It is sad that this language of violence is taught from a young age by the very ones whom a child is intended to respect. The only way to create change is to teach the next generation to think and act differently, but to do this we must change our perspective. http://www.redicecreations.com/radio/2012/04/RIR-120422.php
Exactly. It is all about perspective. I think the older generation does not fully understand that what is going on with the youth today is not what they did when they were kids.
Amen, sister. It starts with NOT acting (i.e. not being the fist). We had an incident at school earlier this week in 4th grade that resulted in suspension (a good friend too). My oldest son and I had many MANY long talks about “the right thing.” So very hard as a parent. I certainly hope it sticks.
And I hope that your kids get it too. I feel for you.
Thanks it is good to here I am not the only one looking to change the status quo on this in schools.
Oh my goodness. That is too sad.
Yes it is.
I honestly don’t think this subject can be given enough attention – for the sake of our children AND for the adults in the workplace who have taken the aggressiveness they endured or learned into the workplace. I ache for these kids – the victimized certainly, and for the broken, inured souls who see such hostility and consider it ok. Your writing is gorgeous; your subject matter heartbreaking yet so critical to our national conversation…
Thank you for your kind words. Have you gone to see Bully yet? I am nervous to go see it afraid I will just cry the whole time.
I have…and you will…it’s devastating, and your heart just collapses for what these kids have to endure…
What power and privilege to say that bullying is not a big deal–certainly shows that if you are not the target of bullying you don’t have to think about it.
I know right.
Whoa, there are some interesting attitudes here. It occurs to me that bullying doesn’t always have to do with physical actions. It can be done with words and sometimes even without them. I wonder if at some point all of us have not experience or been guilty of bullying.
Interesting attitudes I wrote or ones in the comments?
I do agree words can be the worst kind of bullying. I think we all have at some point been a bully and been bullied as well.
Until we stop teaching our children to be xenophobes, we will never end bullying…When adults don’t stand up to one another for making racist or bigoted remarks, they are teaching children that hate and meanness are acceptable and even expected.
I remember being told as a small child that it was only a matter of time before the minorities mixed with everyone and there was no blue eyes and blonde hair left. And that would be terrible because apparently blonde hair and blues eyes is better than the others. Although I am not sure how blue eyes makes someone better.
It is funny when you simplify it like that how absurd it actually sounds.
With a step back quite of few things being passed around are absurd.