I love my daughter, but…

She is the most exhausting person I have ever met.

Getting our princess nails done. Priorities.

Seriously.

And I can’t even be mad because she is me. Poor girl.

I have begun to feel that if I had waited until she was 3 I don’t think we would have a second child. What a horrible thing to say. Yeah, Yeah, but have you met a three year old this wasn’t true about?

A day in the life of my three year old:

6 am- Time to scream because I do not want to be awake. ( She is not a morning person)

6:15 am – Switch to crying because it is too cold outside to wear a dress without pants. You see my daughter will only wear dresses. Literally. Because Princesses don’t wear pants. Thanks Disney. And by thanks I mean F you disney.  So she wears pants and a dress over top. Then calls it stylish.

6:45-3:45 Act like an angel at school all day. Come home with best listener awards.

3:45- Spend car ride home saying potty words to make her sister laugh. “booty, booty, booty”

4:00- Demand to change from her regular dress to a princess dress. If she does all is well. IF not. Holy hell insert one hour of crying about dress.

6:00- Cry about going poop. Because She hates to poop. This could be a whole post itself.

7:00- Asleep. Hey, this is a pretty good quality.

My daughter is smart, hilarious, and extremely stubborn. Which makes her pretty fantastic, except she is three and doesn’t understand why you can’t not poop and wear princesses dresses everywhere.

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Yes, Benyonce I am ready for that jelly, and then some- updated

Yes, Benyonce I am ready for that jelly, and then some- updated.

Favorite Posts From This Year #1

As a wrap of this year, I have decided to repost ten of my favorite blogs from this year in no particular order.

Enjoy!

Oh, So you thought I was listening?

How often do you complain? How often do you have to listen to other’s complaining?

image from 4.bp.blogspot.com

Everywhere I turn someone has something to complain about. Sometimes it is little, such as they did not want to wake up this morning. Sometimes it is big, such as the world is out to get them.

I am so full of other peoples complaints. I was unaware that I carried around an invisible complaint box everywhere I went. I too have a life and struggles. It never fails that who ever is complaining, never asks me how I am doing.

Maybe you too have been carrying around said box. I feel your pain.

It is time we fought back. And here is how we will start.

1. Respond with: how thankful you are that you have clean drinking water, do not have cancer, or any other extreme example pointing out how petty they are being.

2. Respond with: talk to the hand because the face ain’t listening. I did this to my friends in middle school all the time and it totally worked.

3. Respond with: Gosh, your life is so terrible, does anything good every happen to you?

4. Respond with: Oh I’m sorry were you talking to me? I was busy thinking about how awesome my life is.

5. If all else fails respond with: Those goddamn (insert liberal, conservative, etc depending on the person) are ruining america! and storm off.

A friend of mine from college is doing a fundraiser to adopt a baby, check it out!!

Be the peace you wish to see

This next month I will be participating in NanoWriMo for the first time and my blogging will take a back seat for a few weeks. I will try and blog once a week. So, be on the look out for that awesomeness.

 

Peace: What does peace mean to you?

All quiet, amicable, bloodless, calm, collected, composed, constant, easeful, equable, free from strife, gentle, harmonious, irenic, level, mellow, neutral, neutralist, non belligerent, nonviolent, on friendly terms, on good terms, pacifistic, peaceable, placatory, placid, quiet, restful, smooth, sociable, steady, still, tranquil, undisturbed, unruffled, untroubled, without hostility

How often do these words enter your day?

How often are these your actions?

How much of your day would change if at least once you were one of these things?

Everyone should check this out and join in!!

Hot Date Friday Advice

My friday advice for you:

 

Dad- “Man, I really think I should have ordered the duck last night.”

Me- “You mean duck was on the menu and you got something else? If duck is on the menu, always get the duck.”

 

image from food republik

Finally…. I found some good food from a store.

I have done it folks. I have found the best tasting potato chip of my life. Yes it has taken me 28 years to find a potato chip that I actually like to eat. Now if only I could find a store bought ice cream worth anything. But I will save that for another day.

The empty bag. I ate the entire thing by myself. For me that is a big deal.

Laurel Hill Kettle Cooked Potato Chips. 

What goes into the perfect chip you ask. Well… an ingredient list that surprise I can read. No genetically modified anything.  No chemicals just all natural real ingredients. And let me tell you what, the taste difference is mind blowing.

Sure you can buy a bigger bag of Lay’s for less money, but people we are talking about food here. FOOD. It should melt in your mouth in such a way that it has you under its control from the moment it hits your tongue. You loose all sense of time and reality and for that brief second it is just you and the food. All your hopes and fears have abandoned you, leaving you to simply enjoy something in a way that is unparalleled to your mundane life. This is how each meal should be spent.

If people were truly living life as it ought to be lived imagine the love that would come out of every corner, every person, every moment.

I intend to spend my life finding these immaculate foods. No matter how much crappy food I have to taste and spit out. I will do it for all of you because you deserve a life of decadent foods.

*Laurel hill did not pay for this blog post*

Bitter Insignificance- updated

Bitter Insignificance- updated.

I have never Reblogged someone, but you must read this post! It will brighten your day and give you much needed refresh button on life!

Waiting for the Karma Truck

Wednesday morning, driving to the gym and listening to NPR.  At that hour of the morning, Garrison Keillor presents ‘The Writer’s Almanac‘ providing interesting factoids about authors that would ensure victory in a game of Trivial Pursuit, if only I would remember them.  He then reads from the ‘Poet’s Corner‘ – and I literally had to pull over to listen to his gentle voice intone excerpts from Ron Padgett‘s poem “How To Be Perfect”.  Given my post yesterday, the juxtaposition was almost eerie and definitely surprising in the best of all possible ways.  I wanted to share it with you, for in keeping with the belief that we could be a bit kinder to ourselves in many areas and more honest with ourselves in others – there is no one who can communicate this like Ron Padgett.

Excerpts from “How To Be Perfect”

Get some…

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