My four year old is more sarcastic than me… help

Dear me it has been too long my sweet internet friends. I will not bore you with my excuses. Instead I will tell you some hilarious stories from my four year old daughter.

can I wear my crown to the zoo?

can I wear my crown to the zoo?



Me- I told you a million times not to pour the water out of the pool

T- No, you told me three times.




Me- Don’t eat that candy it is old.

T- No it isn’t

Me- It is from christmas, so do not eat it

T- Its not old, its not old, its not old

Me- your face is old

T- mom, not everything is old, except you



T- I have a guardian angel. His name is peachin’

Me- oh really?

T- yes, he is teaching me to twirl without falling down and he is teaching K not to bite

Me- what does he look like?

T- points to Marc Anthony on my i phone, thats him. 



T- mommy I am ready for another tiny baby at our house 

Me- Babies are expensive, we don’t have enough money for another one

T- because I cost money and K costs money?

Me- Yes

T- Well you can have my piggy bank money. 



Me- Why are you putting my phone in your book sack?

T- I need a phone at pre-k to text my friends, mom.



T- I am turning four, so we are four birthday parties. And you know that.


7. My daughter came to school with me the last day of finals, for fun

T- Why do they keep giving me sugar? Don’t they know I have had enough sugar?


T- Do you take naps in high school?

Me- No

T- I can teach them how to nap in their desks, it’s easy.

Me- I don’t think that is necessary



Me- Why did you hit me?

T- I am still learning to be good. I am trying but it is hard not to hit and bite people. I know you are teaching me, but sometimes I make mistakes. But, when I make mistakes and you get mad I know you love me anyway


8 thoughts on “My four year old is more sarcastic than me… help

  1. I love the young, uncomplicated, uncompromised innocence of youthful wisdom.
    Our grandson is a treasure trove of one-liners.
    And some of them sound agonizingly familiar in tone.

    He didn’t get that sarca-

    yes he did.

      • I kind of had an inkling of what was to come from our son when the first book of mine he wanted to borrow was Hunter Thompson’s “The Great Shark Hunt, Vol. I” and he read it cover to cover.
        Then he found some ancient recordings I have of Lenny Bruce, and our son talked more about the thoughts Lenny brought up rather than the foul language.
        And now, at nine, our grandson even shows a surprising bent towards observational humor.
        But God bless ’em both, they still laugh at farts.
        They’ve kept their innocence intact.

  2. At least she makes up for the sarcasm by being so damn cute! And those high schoolers could probably show her a thing or two about falling asleep in desks…

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