Oh no he didn’t….

I had a wicked terrible work week this week. And was beginning to lose hope in all of humanity when the most perfect teen moment happened in my study hall last hour Friday. I am often asked how I could teach high school, when it was so awful the first time around? The answer is simple. The first time I lived the drama. Now, it is like watching a reality tv show on mtv, priceless entertainment.

 

All names have been changed to protect people’s awesomeness.

I have my study hall sitting all spread out and silent due to their desire to talk, talk, talk, and talk louder. One can only listen to conversations starting with “Oh my god Becky did you see what she was wearing?” so many times, before one has had enough.

Image the two most popular girls  in school, Sally and Betty, sitting in the farthest row from me directly behind each other. One row over and seat back is Johnny.

Sally turns to Betty, ” Mike’s mom is at school.” Betty turns to Johnny, “Mike’s mom is at school.” They both look forward. Johnny replies “Am I supposed to care?” In complete synchronization they turn their heads with a quickness roll their eyes with exact timing and then whip their heads back forward at the exact same moment. He then says, “Was there something I was supposed to get there?” They do not even move. He begins to apologize and makes an excuse to get up and go closer to them and whisper in Betty’s ear. She ignores him.

I say, “Johnny they are already mad at you just leave them alone.” The class laughs.

It could not have been a more perfect teen movie moment if they had planned it.

And some days it is the little things that make you smile and get you through until the next day.

Some things you wish you could un-hear

Things Teachers hear, but wish oh so badly we never had:

“All male teachers flirt with the female students, you just only do it to a certain point, so they know it is just for fun”- a male teacher

“She dropped out of school because her dad got her pregnant”- a student

“I need to tell you that in your 3rd hour kids have been giving each other hand jobs under the lab tables when you have subs” -a student

“all public school teachers are bad teachers”- a teacher

“I am going to shut down your school and if for someone reason you save it, I will try to shut you down again next year” – superintendent

“I heard there was a gun at your school today?” “I didn’t know that” “Oh yeah it was on the news” “Oh yeah, they don’t even tell us anymore” -my dad and me

“You know she got suspended for sending naked texts to all the boys at school”- a student

“He only hit her because he was angry” – a mom about her son and his girlfriend

I hope you studied

Semester Exams are upon us. Students fear them, teachers dread them, and parents sit at home and pray. The whole exam process is intense right up until the exam. Once the exam has begun there is nothing left to do except hope you have studied enough.

As a teacher an exam means sitting in silence for two hours and staring to make sure no one has wandering eyes. As you glance about the room it is quite the amusing sight. There is always the student who has to look around the room, but is careful that they are never looking at someone else. The student who is holding back the tears, as they realize they do not know how to answer a single question. The student who falls asleep in the middle of the test. The student who finishes early and tries to flirt across the room with the popular girl in the corner.

It can be quite boring with nothing to do for hours each day. Thus my mind wanders. I thought I would share with you where my mind wandered today.

First, I noticed a student had hot pink tie dyed socks. And I thought I really love socks. I used to where knee-high rainbow socks with the toes every day. Socks are just so great. You can slide across the wood floor on them. They keep your feet from getting dirty. I should really start wearing socks again.

I am so uncomfortable. I wish I could sit with my knees up, but that is unprofessional. Sure the kids are sitting like that, but you are the adult. Act like a lady damn it. I went to a conference and this old woman asked me why young people sit with their legs up and not proper, and how she always yelled at her students for it. I shrugged and said it is a generational thing. I value comfort over what I am ‘supposed’ to do. You value what you are ‘supposed’ to do over comfort. She did not buy it.

Maybe she could explain to why men used to not only wear short shorts, but it was normal. OMG. Just the pictures of it have given me nightmares. Weren’t they afraid they would fall out? Why was this ever acceptable?

Then, Papa don’t preach came into my head. Not the Madonna one, but Kelly Osbourne. Gosh I miss the Osbourne’s on MTV. SHARON!!!

And I looked up at the clock and noticed ten minutes had past. Dear God.

 

To Be Continued…

Tainted Youth

This poem is not in fact inspired by the violence post yesterday, but by a conversation I had with a few students in my class. Who  informed me bullying was not a big deal because if someone bullies you, then you just hit them until they stop. They continued to say beating someone up is always the best answer to your problems.

 

My heart is

broken

for you

how do you

manage to stay

so angry 

everyday?

Your soul

must

be

so

heavy

How do you

manage to

breathe

everyday?

When all

I see is

fire

coming out of

your mouth

Keep looking

behind

you

maybe one day

you will catch them

 

“those people”

out to get

you

 

But

be

warned my friend

if you

only

answer

with

violence

 

Violence

is

all

you

will

find