Silence

There is a quiet out here that is unerving

Leaving you alone with your thoughts

Can you imagine a scarier place to be?

Perhaps

Even the wind is afraid to speak

Yet

In the silence their is also a beautiful calm

One that slows your breath

and softens your gaze

I think the colors are brighter out here

Maybe without the noise

I can finally see clearly

through the chaos

and into the beauty that lies within

They can see you

They are in my house waiting for me.

 

I slowly turn the dead bolt lock and push the door open. Holding my breath in hopes that it will somehow keep the door from squeaking. My eyes slowly criss cross the room looking for any sudden movement.

They hide in different corners of my house every day.

I slowly make my way to the kitchen and jump at the kitchen sink as though an army might come out of the pipes to attack my darkened soul.

 

Nothing.

 

I try not to let my foolish excitement overrun me. They are still here. They must be.

I slowly make my way down the hallway. Careful not to make a sound. As I turn the corner, there they are.

Just waiting for me.

 

Laughing at my utter inability to stop them.

 

I throw everything I have got at them. To no avail.

And just like that they are gone.

Back into hiding.

Just waiting for my next move.

 

 

~my ode to fruit flies~

Favorite Post From This Year #3

From time to time I like to write a little poetry. Here is one of my favorites from this year.

 

Goodness, hospitality, humanity 

 

What is kindness?

Does it even exist anymore?

I think

I saw some kindness 

once

but, I can’t be sure.

What does it look like?

Is it religion?

Is it faith?

Maybe it is much

simpler

than that.

If you looked for it

everyday

all day

how much would you

find?

Is it too

late

for me

or

you

Maybe if we can

find some

hope 

it will

lead us

to

kindness.

Will you recognize it?

Mistaken Identity

No matter how hard

I try

There is no air left

I have looked everywhere

yet

it is gone.

I am

drowning

slowly

one day at a time

 

But in the south

the air is reserved

for the white

the religious

the straight

 

there is no air left

for me

 

When you ask

“Can I please have some air”

you should

see the stares

 

“Who is that crazy?”

“She has air, and is just being dramatic”

“You don’t deserve air”

 

But….

I do not want you air

I

simply

want

to

breath

over

here

all

by myself

 

please

don’t

just

sit

there

and point

while

I slowly

drown

 

Oh

I’m sorry

I mistook you

for

someone

that cared

 

 

 

 

My sister’s poetry

A poem written by my sister for her husband right before they got married:

The many acts of our two lives

Intertwined to a sensational simplification:

-All shall be well-

This is the comedy in our head at least,

While together we stride on

Trying not to be a damned soul, or a damned fool.

A duel to the death! An optimist’s revolt!

Ah yes, we have mastered the incalculable pleasure of perpetual crisis

And our harmony is too absurd not the be enjoyed;

This is love.

So we rise

To the contemplation of truth and flamboyant revelations

Giving treats to children along the way.

-Let nothing upset you, let nothing startle you, all things pass-

And if we went wrong?

“Fuck it, I guess we lost.”

These are a few of my favorite things, to hate.

Mondays and Tuesdays and gross smelly kittens,

Bright neon colors and warm sweaty summers,

Empty broken promises tied up with strings,

these are a few of my most hated things.

 

Creamy filled donuts and crisp peach cobblers,

yard work and cleaning and all of the cobblers,

Wild cats the fight with the moon on their fangs,

These are a few of my most hated things.

 

Girls in Bama dresses with red satin sashes,

Heat waves that stay on my nose and eyelashes,

Silver white hairs that make me look old,

These are a few of my most hated things.

 

When the job rocks, when the kid sleeps,

When I’m feeling glad,

I simply remember my most hated things,

and then I don’t feel so rad.

 

Mondays and Tuesdays and gross smelly kittens,

Bright neon colors and warm sweaty summers,

Empty broken promises tied up with strings,

these are a few of my most hated things.

 

Creamy filled donuts and crisp peach cobblers,

yard work and cleaning and all of the cobblers,

Wild cats the fight with the moon on their fangs,

These are a few of my most hated things.

 

Girls in Bama dresses with red sating sashes,

Heat waves that stay on my nose and eyelashes,

Silver white hairs that make me look old,

These are a few of my most hated things.

 

When the job rocks, when the kid sleeps,

When I’m feeling glad,

I simply remember my most hated things,

and then I don’t feel so rad.

 

 

 

*Loosely based off the Julie Andrews sound of music song*

 
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,
brown paper packages tied up with strings,
these are a few of my favorite things.

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels,
door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings.
these are a few of my favorite things.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,
snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
silver white winters that melt into springs,
these are a few of my favorite things.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings,
when I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I don’t feel so bad.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,
brown paper packages tied up with strings,
these are a few of my favorite things.

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels,
door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings.
these are a few of my favorite things.
Girls in a white dresses with a blue satin sashes,
snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
silver white winters that melt into springs,
these are a few of my favorite things.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings,
when I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I don’t feel so bad.

Burnt Kabob

One of my favorite poets is Rumi. He is often considered the most popular poet in the U.S. I was going through a tough time and a coworker handed me the book The Essential Rumi, and said I think you need this more than I do. And it all began.

 

Burnt Kabob

Last year, I admired wines. This,

I’m wandering inside the red world.

 

Last year, I gazed at the fire.

This year I’m burnt kabob.

 

Thirst drove me down to the water

where I drank the moon’s reflection.

 

Now I am a lion staring up totally

lost in love with the thing itself.

 

Don’t ask questions about longing.

Look into my face.

 

Soul drunk, body ruined, these two

sit helpless in a wrecked wagon.

Neither knows how to fix it.

 

And my heart, I’d say it was more

like a donkey sunk in a mudhole,

struggling and miring deeper.

 

But listen to me: for one moment,

quit being sad. Hear blessings

dropping their blossoms

around you. God.

Here is a match to put out that fire you started

It seems

these days

that

anger 

is all the rage

quick

come here

let me whisper something

mean

and

hurtful

about that

person

over there

I am

so much better

than them

blah blah

blah hate

blah blah

blah anger….

blah blah

blah

 

Slow down

give them

the benefit of a doubt

maybe

just

maybe

you do not know

the whole story

 

Can you fight fire

with fire?

 

Can you stop

a flood with more water?

 

Can you stand up

and demand

kindness?

 

How much

longer

will we all

sit by

and let the

angry

win?

The jumping is easy and the falling fun

My favorite artist is at Jazz Fest today. In honor of her I will bless you with the lyrics of one of her beautiful songs.

More Ani Posts Here

Ani Difranco

image from google images

Swan Dive – By Ani Difranco

cradling the softest, warmest part of you in my hand
feels like a little baby bird fallen from the nest
i think that your body is something i understand
i think that i’m happy, i think that i’m blessed

i’ve got a lack of inhibition
i’ve got a loss of perspective
i’ve had a little bit to drink
and it’s making me think
that i can jump ship and swim
that the ocean will hold me
that there’s got to be more
than this boat i’m in

‘cuz they can call me crazy if i fail
all the chance that i need
is one-in-a-million
and they can call me brilliant
if i succeed
gravity is nothing to me, moving at the speed of sound
i’m just going to get my feet wet
until i drown

and i teeter between tired
and really, really tired
im wiped and im wired but i guess its just as well
because i built my own empire
out of car tires and chicken wire
and i’m queen of my own compost heap
and i’m getting used to the smell

and i’ve got a lack of information
but i got a little revelation
and i’m climbing up on the railing
trying not to look down
i’m going to do my best swan dive
into shark-infested waters
i’m gonna pull out my tampon
and start splashing around

‘cuz i don’t care if they eat me alive
i’ve got better things to do than survive
i’ve got a memory of your warm skin in my hand
and i’ve got a vision of blue sky and dry land

i’m cradling the hardest, heaviest part of me in my hand
the ship is pitching and heaving, my limbs are bobbing and weaving
and i think this is something i understand
i just need a couple vaccinations for my far-away vacation
i’m going to go ahead and go boldly because a little bird told me
that jumping is easy, that falling is fun
up until you hit the sidewalk, shivering and stunned

and they can call me crazy if i fail
all the chance that i need
is one-in-a-million
and they can call me brilliant
if i succeed
gravity is nothing to me
moving at the speed of sound
i’m just gonna get my feet wet
until i drown…

Tainted Youth

This poem is not in fact inspired by the violence post yesterday, but by a conversation I had with a few students in my class. Who  informed me bullying was not a big deal because if someone bullies you, then you just hit them until they stop. They continued to say beating someone up is always the best answer to your problems.

 

My heart is

broken

for you

how do you

manage to stay

so angry 

everyday?

Your soul

must

be

so

heavy

How do you

manage to

breathe

everyday?

When all

I see is

fire

coming out of

your mouth

Keep looking

behind

you

maybe one day

you will catch them

 

“those people”

out to get

you

 

But

be

warned my friend

if you

only

answer

with

violence

 

Violence

is

all

you

will

find