hide your kids, hide your wife

So many posts all over the internet about what everyone did in 2012 and what they plan to do in 2013. This is not one of those blogs.

This blog is to discuss what the hell is going on at the house down the street from me.


Here is the scene:

The house has those reflective mirror tint in all of their windows. And to top it off they put it up wrong, so its all wrinkly. They have three of the same style cars, one from each major company. They have a honda fit, a hyundai accent, and the chevrolet sonic. In three different colors. At first they all look so similar I thought they had bought three of the same car. Here is where it gets weird. December 1st they take down the window tint in one window only and put a bunch of nutcrackers up for Christmas. I guess the christmas spirit overwhelmed them.

What are they doing in that house?

My first thought was maybe they are allergic to the sun and that is why they need reflective tint. It would also explain why I have never seen anyone come or go from the house. But why the nutcrackers? Maybe they are magical nutcrackers that protect people from the sun.

Maybe they are secret spies collecting data on my neighborhood, because really all of my neighbors are secret agents in the FBI.

They could just be drug dealers. My neighbor thinks everyone is dealing drugs in the neighborhood. Well, only the people she doesn’t like. Which is why I bake her candies all the time. Not because I deal drugs, but I don’t need her calling the cops on me too. Yep, new hispanic family moved in, so naturally she thinks they deal drugs and called the cops. Poor family didn’t see the racist neighbor coming.

They are the aliens causing all the traffic. Easily could control the traffic with satellites from their home. Or there suspicious cars.

Come on aliens is a legitimate explanation its not like I am running around saying sparkly vampires exist.

24 thoughts on “hide your kids, hide your wife

  1. Weird? That is Silence of the Lambs weird. Let’s discuss how much I need answers. I would most liking be up all night with night scope equipment. That is very odd indeed. Drug dealers wouldn’t tint their windows. So I can sleep, I will go with your allergy to the sun theory.

  2. Maybe they are hiding from the aliens? They might think the reflective tint keeps the aliens from reading their minds. Which is just plain silly, everyone knows you’re supposed to wear a tin foil hat!!

  3. You are too funny!

    Check this out. Last year, we watched a neighbor get hauled away by a SWAT team!! Always fun when the police come knock on your door and say, “Lock your doors and don’t come out or let anyone in for an hour or so.” Yikes.

    Just a month earlier, our next door neighbor — an NFL football player thug that lost his contract for doing drugs — gutted his house of anything that could be sold for $$ (he used a bulldozer in the backyard to rip up New Orleans style light fixtures!) before the sheriff evicted him and Fannie Mae took the broken property. I watched in horror as it all unfolded from my living room window. Yikes again.

    It’s everywhere. I pray for tall, green aliens to move in. And maybe they’ll have some children my kids can play with. Anything but drugs and a sex offender.

  4. HaHa…about 7 or 8 years ago my dad had me come over and put that reflective tint in his windows. He said to help on the cooling bill but I know he just wanted to people watch while he smoked his pot. He is a little on the paranoid side, though. At least I got it up without wrinkles…love that concentration mode.

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