Surviving the end of the world one diet coke at a time

What do people do with boxes?

Huge piles of cardboard boxes

At work I get an all faculty email about once of week of someone needing boxes of all shapes and sizes? I have never needed oddly shaped boxes at school and thus I cannot fathom what they are doing with them.

Perhaps they are covering the walls in cardboard as a new hipster form of decorating?

Perhaps they are moving their house and need an individual box for each item in their house? Damn it, Susan where are the boxes that fit my star wars cookie cutters.

Perhaps they simply are box hoarders preparing for the apocalypse when only the ginger mormons are left standing and there is a civil war over boxes as it has become the currency.

Should I be collecting boxes? In the event of a zombie attack I don’t want to be left without boxes, maybe I should just start collecting diet cokes instead. Bc if the world ends and I have all the diet coke, I know I will have all the power because bitches be loving their diet coke.

diet1

Hurricane or Zombie Attack? Asking the hard hitting questions.

It’s time to play  “Am I preparing for hurricane isaac or the zombie apocalypse…..”  game <I’m singing game show music, you just can’t here it.

1. You go to walmart the only empty isle is the beer isle-

photo borrowed from my cousin’s facebook. Shh don’t tell him.

The answer is both a hurricane and a zombie apocalypse. Both occasions require lubrications.

2. Hoarding as much gas as possible.

photo borrowed from my friend allison.

Again, both a hurricane and the apocalypse. You need lots of gas to out run both a storm and a crazed zombie. Obviously.

3. Your facebook feed is suddenly inundated with people posting about how many batteries they have in their house.

I got nothing on this one. Batteries people? Come one really. Who even uses batteries anymore. Zombies, that’s who.

Based on my obviously scientific study, I can conclude that it is not in fact a hurricane of rain and wind coming my way, but in fact a swarm of flying zombies.

You have been warned.