There is nothing like a day that celebrates food. Yeah Yeah you are supposed to give thanks and stuff. But its all about the food, and then shopping. I mean thats what the TV tells me and the TV never lies. Just look at Fox news. No opinions, just facts.
This year I am thinking go cut down a turkey just like christmas trees. There must be places I can go run after a turkey and chop it dead to put on my table. Ooh better stop at the bass pro first to get a new camo dress to hunt turkey in. The camo underwear I got there is just too cute.
I can see it now, the family gathered around: Everyone awkardly listing the things they are thankful for. The group decision on which way to pass food, the new boyfriend at family dinner nervously making chit chat. My daughter wearing the biggest poofiest dress out of her closet with as many bows as she can fit on her head. My dad hinting I need to change my discipline tactics. The dogs barking. The dogs peeing. The awkward blended family conversations.
Why would I want to miss a day as glorious as this? Because Christmas is way better. Ok so its exactly the same but with presents. PRESENTS!