My four year old is more sarcastic than me… help

Dear me it has been too long my sweet internet friends. I will not bore you with my excuses. Instead I will tell you some hilarious stories from my four year old daughter.

can I wear my crown to the zoo?

can I wear my crown to the zoo?



Me- I told you a million times not to pour the water out of the pool

T- No, you told me three times.




Me- Don’t eat that candy it is old.

T- No it isn’t

Me- It is from christmas, so do not eat it

T- Its not old, its not old, its not old

Me- your face is old

T- mom, not everything is old, except you



T- I have a guardian angel. His name is peachin’

Me- oh really?

T- yes, he is teaching me to twirl without falling down and he is teaching K not to bite

Me- what does he look like?

T- points to Marc Anthony on my i phone, thats him. 



T- mommy I am ready for another tiny baby at our house 

Me- Babies are expensive, we don’t have enough money for another one

T- because I cost money and K costs money?

Me- Yes

T- Well you can have my piggy bank money. 



Me- Why are you putting my phone in your book sack?

T- I need a phone at pre-k to text my friends, mom.



T- I am turning four, so we are four birthday parties. And you know that.


7. My daughter came to school with me the last day of finals, for fun

T- Why do they keep giving me sugar? Don’t they know I have had enough sugar?


T- Do you take naps in high school?

Me- No

T- I can teach them how to nap in their desks, it’s easy.

Me- I don’t think that is necessary



Me- Why did you hit me?

T- I am still learning to be good. I am trying but it is hard not to hit and bite people. I know you are teaching me, but sometimes I make mistakes. But, when I make mistakes and you get mad I know you love me anyway