Shit is about to get real

As I try to come up with something to write, all I can hear in my mind is the video sweet mother posted about shit getting real in the whole foods parking lot.

I’m serious. It is on repeat in my brain. I don’t even think a Brittany Spears song would fix this desperate situation.

So I am going to just go with it

 

According to urban dictionary : Shit getting real

When a situation changes from the tame and quotidian to the unfamiliar and hazardous, shit gets real. Shit getting real can lead to unexpected and potentially life-threatening consequences. If you believe shit may soon become real, the best thing to do is to get real yourself by staying calm and maintaining an awareness of your surroundings.


How to know when Shit is gettin’ real:

1. The mob of angry teenagers forming around you. Don’t worry they probably just want to have a dance off. Which is awesome because we all know you kick ass at dance battles.

2. That coworker, you know the one, just put you down in front of the boss. You can hear the whispers forming across the room as you roll up your sleeves, to of course shake their hand and walk away. I am not losing my job over that fool. You kidding me.

3. Your toddler turns glares at you and whispers no and walks away. Oh so you are thirteen now and think you can just walk away from me. Just wait till your mother/father/other parent of some kind gets home!

4. Some one mentions Chick fil A. Oh hell no, they did not just mention THE chick fil A. Do it again. I dare you. No one mentions the fried chicken that gives all friend chicken a bad name in my presence. You rip off your shirt and run at them.

5. The alarm goes off. Who does that alarm even think he is. (side note alarms are men) Not only am I going to show you who is boss by ignoring you, but I am going to throw you on the ground. That’s right, what you gonna do know?

 

*If you find yourself in any of these situations remain strong my friend. Remain strong*