When you only have time for the cheap and easy ones

I love to make candy. When I am in a tight spot I kind of cheat. My students can’t tell that I cheated and they think I am amazing because I made them candy.

Here is how to make super fast and easy candy to impress those in your life that need a little extra lovin’.

Step One:

Go to your local craft store. If you are going to say already that you don’t have time to go to the craft store, then your life is sad. The craft store is a magical place that always smells like christmas and has sparkly things. Everyone has time to go.

Step Two:

Purchase a candy mold. I have many different molds. Flowers, hearts, little thank you bars, and smiley faces. I used the smiley faces this weekend.

Step Three:

Choose on of the many flavors of their candy melts. I happen to love the vanilla and it comes in every color. But for today I did chocolate mint.

Are my photo skills blowing your mind yet?

Step Four:

Pour the candy melts into a bowl and put them in the microwave. Heat for 30 seconds at a time. After 30 seconds stir and repeat until fully melted. That means all liquidy and not hard. Is liquidy a word?

*Note this is not melted yet*

Step Five:

Scoop into your mold. My mold this time was for lollipops, so I also added lollipop sticks. Well my daughter added them. Don’t worry I threw away the ones she chewed on.

Are you drooling yet? No, me neither I don’t like chocolate. That’s why I make it and give it away.

Step Six:

Pop them in the freezer for a few minutes. Once they harden enjoy!

 

Look he is smiling at you. Maybe he wants to be friends. Until you eat him. Then he will be pissed. Or dead. But was he really alive to begin with? Damn lollipop, you have me questioning life and death. Just shut up and look pretty until I eat you.

 

Mountain Dew Cake

I sold my first cake!

I love to bake. Even in high school I can remember practicing my recipes and bringing them to school for all my friends to eat. Now, I bake and bring it to my students, give it to my wife’s co-workers, or to my family. I would keep them at home and eat them, but I don’t really like sweets. Yes, just another thing I am contrary about.

I sold a mountain dew cake. It is a lemon/lime cake that is very rich and creamy. The recipe was given to me by my good friend Jessie Brown. She has graciously given me permission to share it with you!

Mountain Dew Cake

Mountain Dew Cake:

I cup of butter

2 cups of sugar

4 large eggs

3/4 cup of mountain dew

1/4 cup of lemon and lime juice

zest from 1 lemon and 2 limes ( separate into 2 piles, one for buttercream)

1 1/2 teaspoons lemon extract

2 3/4 cups all purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1. Beat Butter on medium for 30 seconds

2. Add sugar and lemon, lime zest. Beat on medium- high until light and fluffy.

3. Add eggs one at a time, Scrape sides of bowl in between additions.

4. Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a bowl. Add to mixer bowl. Turn on low for 5 seconds.

5. Add the mountain dew, lemon/lime juice, and lemon extract.

6 Bake for 20-25 min ( 18-20 for cupcakes)

Mountain Dew Butter Cream:

1 cup butter

4-5 cups powdered sugar

2 tablespoons mountain dew

Juices from half of 1 lemon and half of 1 lime

Lemon and Lime Zest

1 teaspoon of lemon extract

neon green food coloring

1. sift powdered sugar into a bowl or onto parchment

2. Beat butter until creamy

3. Add half of the sugar

4. Add the mountain dew, zest, and lemon extract

5. Add food coloring

6. Gradually add remaining sugar

Enjoy!

Mountain Dew Cake

Pinterest is killing you softly with its song

Be careful. Pinterest is filling you with unattainable dreams about how your life will never be. I know it is blasphemous to say such things about the god fearing pinterest, but it had to be said.

I have a number of problems with what pinterest is doing to you. And so should you.

1. People post dessert far too much. I mean come on. Who eats that much dessert. No one. Not even  the Duggars.

2. You will never have a house with rooms like you pin. Yes that million dollar kitchen you just posted does not exist not for you, not for me, only Blue Ivy. And that bathroom overlooking the jungles of Tahiti, you are more likely to sleep with Johnny Depp than have that house.

3. The I am not pregnant do not have any kids, but pin about my future unborn children. Maybe you are not superstitious, but don’t go selling the milk before you bought the cow. I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to find out I couldn’t have kids and have 100 pins about babies.

4. My style. I don’t know how to say this, but that picture of the super cute outfit looks just like all the other outfits you posted with different colors. Wearing jeans, shoes, jewelry, and a shirt is not a “style,” it is just the same boring outfit every teenager out there wears. But if you were going for that teenage look then, success!

5. The whole legality issue. You have no legal right to republish peoples original work. What does pinterest say about that, well that you won’t pin anything unless you have expressed consent to pin it. So can someone come after you for repinning something of theirs, yep.

Will I keep pinning, absolutely. I am addicted. It is too late for me. Save yourself …. if you can…