I am not cute damn it.

I am petite, thin,  and “cute as a button” giving me quite the innocent look.

This pisses me off. And has since I was a kid.

I AM NOT CUTE! DAMNIT! I am edgy and dangerous.

image from google images

I promise






damn, no I’m not.

This would not be a problem, except people laugh at me. All the time. Literally.

Why blog about this today? If this is a life long problem. I walk into work and go to my department head to let them know I got a new tattoo and it is visible. I am allowed to show my tattoos as long as they are tasteful. What was her response and the response of a co worker. Laughter. For five minutes. Followed by you are just so funny. Why? Because I just don’t look like a girl that would get tattoos, so me enjoying getting tattoos is just ridiculous.


This post is for all of us out there that are tired of being considered completely ridiculous by simply being ourselves.

No matter how many times they laugh, write you off, or dismiss you, stand tall! Be proud!




Taking a Gamble

At a meeting this week we had a speaker talk about poker. He talked about how successful people in life have tons of poker chip and thus are will to take lots of risks because they have poker chips to spare. Prom queen – you get 10,000 chips. New Job- 20,000 chips. Some people have had bad thing after bad thing take most of their poker chips and they simply are not willing to risk chips for just anything. Failed a class -5,000 chips, lose your home -50,000 chips.

I began thinking about my life and what risks I take and which ones I say no I can’t afford to lose that many chips if things went badly. When I was younger I feel as though I had a lot more chips than I have know. Life has taken its toll on me. And I am a much harder person not willing to just let it all hang out. I find that the older I get the harder it is to be willing to let any chips go. And this makes me sad.

I want to return to that carefree go where the wind blows girl. Saying what I thought, dressing how I wanted. Not giving a damn what anyone anywhere thought of me. I know I have posted similar blogs to this, but what can I say this is on my mind everyday. I day dream of standing up in the middle of a big crowd and yelling I’m here! This is me! And I’m damn proud!

If you had one chip left to your name- what would you do? who would you be?