Block Party

My neighborhood is a quiet neighborhood. Small little houses dotting the landscape of suburbia. From time to time I get someone trying to sell something. Until I put up a  no solicitors sign. I can only have someone come to my door trying to sell me religion as if my house somehow implies I need saving once a year before I reach my limit. I knew painting the front door red was a bad idea.

I like hearing the sounds of kids playing in their back yards. The smells of hamburgers grilling on a warm afternoon. Watching the hot air balloons float across the morning sky every August.

One problem. My crazy neighbors:

There is the cat man. When you walk past his house in the dead heat of 100 degrees summer the smell of cat pee is so thick you might vomit. He throws the dirty litter in his back yard. Has a pallet of cat food and cat littler in his front yard. When the cops came the first round he had 200 cats. He lawyered up and found that there is no law against having as many cats as you want as long as they are healthy. So he got all his friends to bring over new cats. The yard was covered in cat cages.

There is the family that doesn’t talk to anyone. You guessed it thats the smoking pregnant lady. The mom spoke to me once, but only to ask if she could move her mailbox which is on my property. Didn’t tell me her name or ask mine. Quite awkward. Its not just me they don’t talk to, they don’t even talk to the cute old ladies on the street. Who could not talk to a sweet old lady that walks around in her nightgown without her teeth.

There is the really old racist woman that lives around the corner. Watch out for that one. I mean the things that come out of her mouth can not be repeated. If you see her just walk away slowly. She senses fear.

Just an average american neighborhood 🙂