The lies they are telling our kids

I have issues with children’s books and movies.

Yeah, I said it.

They are rife with inaccuracies and terrible characters. Sure the first time you watch a movie you don’t notice that the little cartoons are doing things that are impossible. But, after the 20th time, your whole perspective changes.

Goofy minds the house:

A book about how goofy and his wife switch roles for the day. Not only does goofy live on a farm in a one room hut with a straw roof. He has to cook his food over the stove and does not have running water. Yet, he can plug a fan into the wall.

Thank you for being my friend: 

A book that has no mention of friends.

Nemo:

This movie just gets under my skin. The dad is a terrible mean man. He is nothing, but cruel the entire movie to Dori.

Lilo and Stitch:

The whiney immature teen sister is so shitty that social services is taking her sister away, yes lets show this movie to my child. And why is her sister so short? She only comes up to her knee in height. That is the height of a one year old. Yet she is old enough to roam the town by herself?

The princess and the frog:

Racial stereotypes all over this one, but that isn’t the worst part. The voodoo is. That is a scary voodoo man who gets pulled into hell. Everyone knows you get turned into a snake and made into a voodoo charm when your voodoo goes bad.

Mickey Mouse Club: 

Donald does not wear any pants, unless he is swimming. Why? Secondly, why do they all wear white gloves except the ducks?

I need a date night at the movies with real adult movies. HELP!!!