The Best Part of the Holidays

What is the the best part about big holidays? Is it the wonderful religious ceremonies? Could it be the decorations? Or possibly the copious amounts of holiday food? No, I am afraid not. It is most obviously the forced awkward family gatherings.

image from http://www.modernmom.com

For weeks you build up the anticipation. Is she talking to mom? What happened to her relationship with that boy? Did you see Sally’s new haircut? Oh my god… did you hear what John was caught doing last week? You never know how it will play out until the big day arrives. For some watching the big football game is entertainment, but it has got nothing on the your drunk uncle groping his 50 year old girlfriend on the couch.

It is enough entertainment to last you until the next holiday months from now. Some years Christmas is so dramatic it leaves you with stories for years to come.

And what would life be without good stories to tell over a drink with your friends?

So friends grab a drink and share your stories with me.

How to get the most out of your Spring Break!

It is that time of year again. Spring Break. America’s youth is so excited about the religious holidays that they run out to the beach and get wild!

Image from http://www.sandpiperbeach.com

For my followers, who are thinking, Damn didn’t she just have a week off for Mardi Gras? Why yes I did. This time I get  10 days. In case you needed another reason to wish you were a baller like me.

Spring Break can be a wonderful time in a young persons life. In order to ensure you and your friends make the best of your holiday I have compiled a list of must do’s for your week.

1. In the word’s of my dad – “Be good. And if you can’t be good, be safe”

2. If you hear a song about red solo cups come on and people start to cheer. Run away. And never look back.

3. If you get pulled over by the beach cops and they want you to be on their show. They are only asking you because you are drunk and stupid, not because you are cool and good looking.

4.When you pull that slutty dress out of your closet and think about putting it on for Easter sunday. Don’t.

5. Don’t forget to be awesome.

P.S. Check out the wonderful blog TheWaiting! She just got Freshly Pressed this week!!!

When Christmas attacks!

I didn’t see it coming. You see Christmas is my best friend. We reminisce all year about our good times together and plan for our next visit. We listen to our special music together, bake cookies, and decorate everything in sight. Christmas never disappoints me. She has been there for me every year no matter what is going on in our lives.

This year I decided it was time to throw my own Christmas party. I have been to many Christmas parties but never hosted one myself. In trying to plan the perfect party I decided a cookie swap would be perfect. Who doesn’t need more cookies in their life? I begin to invite people growing more and more excited each passing day. As guests begin to arrive the cookies begin to pile up like a growing mountain on the dining room table. Each time I look back it as though they have begun to multiply on their own. The table is now overflowing. At first I am not too worried. Everyone will take cookies home it will be ok. As people slowly leave the party the cookies don’t go down in size they appear to still be growing. They are going to take over my house. I have to go on the defense before it’s too late. I try to get people to take them home, but it’s as if they know the cookies are about to attack and they want nothing to do with them. The cookies begin to appear in different places throughout the house. How is this possible? What do they want? What am I going to do? There is no choice you must eat them, I tell myself. But there are so many it can’t be done!

I have no choice but to hide from the cookies and hope they give up.

 

Namaste

I follow the Dali Lama on twitter. Yep. He tweets everyday an hour before I wake up. It is positive words of wisdom and compassion that I love starting my day with. A nice reminder that no matter what someone does or says you should show them compassion and love. Something I must admit I often find challenging. Especially as long as Rick Perry is making commercials reminding me about how I have to celebrate Christmas in fear every year. Damn war on religion.

So I thought I would pass along some of my favorite Dali Lama quotes to pass along the kindness this holiday season

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”

“I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe.”

“If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.”

“In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.”

“There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness.”

~Namaste ~

Alligator=Thanksgiving

 

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for everything you have in life. Spend amazing family time together. And of course eat alligator. Wait, what you don’t eat alligator stuffing with your turduckin? Are you not American? Oh wait I get it.

Where you live it is not 80 degrees and swamp covered. Thus you don’t have a large supply of alligators and it would be too expensive to put it in your dinner.

Oh hang on you dont have turduckin either? What do you even eat? I bet you didn’t even have fried pickles as a side. A Turduckin is a hen stuffed inside a duck stuffed inside a turkey and it is epic and awesome. You can order one online. Do it. You wont regret it.

I really do enjoy thanksgiving. Especially now that I have a little girl that likes to put on a show for the family. She sings and dances and chases the animals around the house. She runs around talking the whole time. I can usually understand about one in every four words. I usually just comment something such as of course baby, totally, and thats sounds great, uh huh. Thinking on it. What if she is telling me of her plans to take over the world with her ninja baby friends. Or how she is planning to be a horrible teenage girl and is already laughing at my future torment. Here I am smiling and nodding as if she were saying something cute and funny. Maybe all the babies are just laughing at us. I bet they have secret meetings and are plotting their take over as we speak.