Come and knock on my door, I’ve been waiting for you.

Hello 2 am. Why no, this is not three’s company, I am not glad you knocked on my door.

As I lay awake in bed, and my mind wanders endlessly through all the things in life that piss me off, I find myself wondering, what do people think about when they are unable to sleep? Do you too lay awake thinking about your personal life struggles?

For me, I know I lay awake thinking through all of the 1100 plus legal rights I am denied every single day. It rolls over and over in my mind until I want to scream. But, truly it is not the denial of rights that keep me up, but the people who call themselves my friends that do not care that I am denied such basic rights.

When I have had enough of that I begin to scrutinize my lesson plans for school. Sending myself into a tizzy over getting all of students to actually learn calculus instead of sit in the back of the class with a unicorn mask on. True story.

I wonder if it would be possible to turn my thoughts to happy fluffy thoughts on restless nights. Maybe everyone else lays awake thinking of thanksgiving dinner, or magical vacations. Because naturally the best happy thoughts involve pumpkin pie and vacation. Oh my god y’all we should all go on a thanksgiving vacation where pumpkin pie is served everyday.

As I struggle on my journey towards inner peace, knowing full well, you cannot find inner peace. It is already within you. I know I must let my frustration go. Frustration is a simple emotion. It changes nothing but your perspective of the world around you. It does not actually change the world around you.

Whether I sleep at all tonight will not make the sun rise any later, or my boss suddenly decide we can do without that lunch meeting. It will make me super sleepy and probably nauseous all day, but hey inner peace wasn’t achieved in a day. Many spend their entire lives trying to calm their inner mind, but few are able to do so.



p.s. you are totally singing the theme song to three’s company right now aren’t you?

p.p.s I totally miss 70’s tv.