Favorite Posts From This Year #5

This post was quite popular, but then again who doesn’t love a good conversation about sex.

Top 5 things to NOT ask a lesbian about sex

WARNING SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS BLOG TODAY-

I will admit that the older I get the less people ask me such crazy things. I think it is due to the fact that most of the people I spend time with are over 40. This generation does not have the same, hey lets talk about crazy sex with people we just met mentality.

I am not quite sure why people think that when you are gay, that means it is ok to ask them wildly inappropriate things.

But ask they do.

5. If you ever decide to stop being gay will you have sex with me? – First, the line to have sex with me is very long and you are not even in the first half. Second, I am a fully grown dyke. I am not confused. I know lesbians in movies get confused and have sex with men. Those are movies- as in made up stories. ( no santa is not real either)

4. Don’t you have to have a penis to have sex?- First, sex is different for everyone. Second, just because you need a penis to get off does not mean everyone does. Third, do you ask your straight friends what gets them off sexually?

3. So, do you find me attractive? First, if you are a girl, that does not mean I find you attractive. Most likely not. I have high standards. Thanks. Second, if you are a boy, sure I can appreciate a good looking man. But don’t get that mistaken for lust.

2. So, how do you have sex? How many straight people have you asked how they like to have sex ? Because they can have sex in just as many ways as I can. I am not your lesbian guide into the world of girl on girl action. Go rent season 3 of the original L Word.

1. So when you look in the mirror naked, are you attracted to yourself? Seriously. Did you just ask me that? No, I am a girl, I look in the mirror and see all of my flaws. It is fucked up for you to imply I would want to have sex with myself. Please walk away before I slap you.

Favorite Posts From This Year #4

This post speaks to my thoughts on the south. Even though I think we have a whole lot of crazy up in here from time to time. I still love the south.

Enjoy this post My south

I have been posed the question “Why do you live in the South?” a lot lately. As someone who is gay, married, and raising a family; I can see how people would struggle to see why I would chose the south. It is often considered to be the opposite of who I am.

I have written a handful of posts specifically about living in Louisiana here  that will paint a picture of the south through my eyes.

The quiet silence of a small town

Trying to put into words what the south means to a southerner is difficult to do, so I will start at the beginning.

Being a southerner is like being a part of a secret club that everyone knows about. You have to prove yourself to get invited in, but once you are in you are in for life. Of course unless you do something crazy. In which case, you need to openly ask Jesus for forgiveness and we will let you back in.

The south is the people. Sure you could say it is something about those long hot summers and never ending glasses of sweet tea that do something to you, but down here it is about the people. The whole town may talk about what crazy things you did last saturday night and how they cannot believe you are dating so and so, but if you are sick the whole town shows up with a hot meal. The first words children are taught is please, thank you, and sorry. Yes Ma’am and No sir apply to everyone out of respect. It is not about your age.

And then there is the food. It isn’t simply food. It is bacon cooked in brown sugar, pecans, and cayenne pepper. Food is not something you do to get the best body or help you finish the race. It is a ritual, an event, and a time to catch up with family and friends.

As the suns sets on a warm summer evening with the breeze blowing past you full of memories of times past, and you sink into your porch swing, you can feel the soul of the south wrapping its arms around you whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

Listen carefully