I hope you studied part III

I have been taking you on a magical journey through high school exams. Part One and Part Two.

Giving exams can be quite different from taking them. One of the most frustrating parts of exams is the students who chose not to do the review for the exams. I know I am a great teacher, but you really want me to believe you learned an entire years worth of math so well that you do not need to do any review problems? You flatterer you. Those students are always the first ones finished. I cringe when they set their test down and the front page is covered in mistakes.

Students like that make you understand why someone would want to drink at work. I never would, but I know the feeling of students making you want to drink. There are even t-shirts that say, if you taught highschool you would drink too. Speaking of drinks, I wonder how I can sneak booze into my mother in-laws for memorial day? Should I just flask it? Or go with the Smirnoff in a water bottle? It would be so much easier if drinking wasn’t against their religion. I am just trying to be like jesus and feed the people wine.

As the kids all slowly finish their test, there is always that one still going. They make eye contact and then quickly look away. Knowing I am waiting for them to finish and them alone. It is an intense moment. I try not to look at them, so they will not feel any pressure. Believe it or not I want them to do well on the test. I know you thought I was in teaching for the money, so one day I could go on house hunters international.

Who are these people buying million dollar vacation homes and how do I become friends with them? I have yet to break into this elite group. And watching them on tv is killing me. Must be nice 25 year old couple buying a home in the bahamas because you just want to get away from your stressful life. Must be nice.

As the students all leave for the year I often wonder what I will do without them all summer. Who will fill me in on the latest boy band songs? What will I do without someone telling me how awesome it is to get a driver’s license? And of course what will I do without the daily reminder that every other teacher lets their class go to lunch early?

I always leave my students with this advice- be good and if you can’t be good be safe.

I hope you studied part two

Yesterday I began a wonderful story of the most amazing time in a students life exams.

Each moment during an exam passes so slowly I could swear it stopped. Or maybe it was just the people father time employs playing a cruel cruel joke on me. Damn you father time, control your employees.

2 hours left alone with my thoughts. Scary.

I often think of Sookie in true blood and hope no one can hear my thoughts. Which makes no sense, as I share my thoughts freely with all of you.

In Louisiana seniors get out of school a few weeks earlier than the rest of the high school. I cannot remember if I got out early as a senior. Is this common place in every state? Why would senior year be shorter than other years? I guess they learned all they needed to know.

I used to row crew in college. There was a girl on my team, lets call her Roxanne. Every time we would go to the gym and workout on the ergs (the rowing machines) it was beyond like a porno. People are known to moan when they workout, but this was beyond moaning. It was full out Samantha sex and the city moaning. Maybe we should have said something to her. Can you imagine if her boyfriend had heard her workout then they had sex and she was quiet. Talk about awkward.

I wonder what goes through peoples mind that think everyone should have a right to bully someone. Do they realize that means someone could bully their kid? I don’t think they realize what the kids do on the internet to each other today. Then again sometimes it is those parents doing the bullying.

I bet those parents wouldn’t be so uptight if they had not had to wear those short shorts for so long.

Oh good now 30 minutes have passed.