It was the worst of times, it was the best of times

People have been talking a lot lately about how serious of a time we live in and how important it is. Which I find hugely amusing. Are we all that Vain? Or is it simple Naiveness? Every generation thinks that at some point in their life it is the most serious time in their country or even the world. I wish everyone would just relax and enjoy life. I have developed some tips to help you find your enjoyment in our darkest of days here, you know until we all end in the flames of hell.

1. Go outside in the rain and splash in as many puddles as possible.

2. Smell the roses in that old ladies yard down the street.

3. Ask a stranger how their day is going and mean it.

4. Help someone for no reason.

5. Hide your friends crazy ass political and religious posts so you don’t have to delete them.

6. Plan a vacation and go on it. Even if it is a vacation in your house.

7. Dance to your favorite music.

8. Don’t  regret.

9. Only eat food worth eating.

10. Forgive everyone. Just do it.

11. Just shut up and be nice.

12. Read my blog as much as possible.

Simply follow these simple steps each day, and if necessary add a big glass of wine ( if you are of legal age of course).

Enjoy your newfound happiness!

So long and Thanks for all the Fish

I have decided that gnats are trying to tell us something. And it is urgent. They swarm at your face only to get repeatedly swatted away. Why suffer such pain for nothing?They dive right toward your eye every time so you do not miss them. Is the world ending? Did I forget to turn off my car lights? Has Santorum decided to drop out and support Obama? Free ice cream in the quad?

What are you trying to tell me gnat? What is it? I have to know!

I do not understand your language. Maybe you could give me a hint. Damn, you probably are and I am not getting it. This deeply concerns me. Why you ask? Well I presume you have all seen The hitch hikers guide to the galaxy. In which the dolphins have been trying to tell the human race that earth was to be destroyed for an intergalactic highway. The humans mistook the message for a sea world show. And earth was blown up.

I bet Newt knows and that is why he wants to go to the moon.