Today I let anger win and that makes me sad.

Today was a dark day. I actually got into a heated confrontation with someone. Something that is becoming more of a rare occurrence for me.

It all started with me saying I felt unsafe when I drove through states like Texas. Which brought the you are being paranoid comment. And I lost it.

Am I being paranoid when, I have been pulled over and harassed by cops in Texas to the point of tears?

Am I being paranoid when, I have had doctors refuse to be my doctor?

Am I being paranoid when, I have had strangers come up to me and tell me I am going to hell?

Am I being paranoid when, I have people come up to me while I was pregnant and tell me my child would be be messed up because I was their parent?

Am I being paranoid when, I cannot send my child to half of the schools in the city I live in, simply because I am her mother?

Am I being paranoid when, I have been offered jobs and then they take it back?

Am I being paranoid when, I have had co workers who have never met me try to get me fired?

Am I being paranoid when, I turn on the news and people are calling for my death?

Am I being paranoid when, presidential candidates are saying children with father’s in prison are better off then in my home?

Am I being paranoid when, I am getting refused service in a restaurant and asked to leave?

Am I being paranoid when, many state’s GOP platform includes that my family is tearing at the fabric of society?

yes, a lot of people love the gays. But, do not for one second think that being a gay family in the south all rainbows.

All consuming Fear

Deep inside

In the depths of your soul

It waits

patiently

to consume you

Are you ready?

I am fighting back

are you?

I will not let the fear win

not today

Fear is Powerful and

STRONG

if you are not careful

it will change you

so slowly

you won’t even feel it

until one day

you are one of them

on tv

warning of the end of all that we hold dear

because you chose to

let

fear

in

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first rule of fight club…

Continuing in my series on the inner workings of working with urban youth. First installation was about crazy mamas. Second was pregnant teens.

Today we are going to reminisce the fights. Now the best fights are so full of emotion, they lack any reason. Because when does a fight actually have a logical reasoning behind it?

 

1. First day of school. A group of girls had just started high school. They decided they needed to make their presence known. Four of them jumped a junior on the way to the busses. As the entire school walked past them. When the cops arrived, they knew them by name. You are only cool if the cops know you by 14.

2. Their was a couple that had been dating for years. The young man liked to beat up on the girl. Many interventions could not seperate them. That is until he went nuts thinking she wanted to date someone else and bit a hole in her face.

3. A good fight involves family. Because everyone knows a family that fights together, stays together. As soon as word gets to you that a fight is happening get out of the way because anyone that is family will get up and run to the fight. Don’t bother trying to stop them.

4. The best fighters are girls. Girls who are professional boxers. One everyone is scared shitless of them. Two they can flatten anyone in their path. Don’t remember why, but the boxer came to up to the busses and laid into a girl she went down in one hit. the punches continued and she ended up in the hospital. She had gone down directly onto a rock.

 

* picture from jennyhansenauthor.wordpress.com