My Pie Rack

I have been watching all of the politicians talking about how life is being destroyed by various awful terrible things. But they are worse things that could happen. Such as having three teenage daughters who make a video called my pie rack.

Go ahead think of something worse. Nope you can’t do it. One horrible day my little precious baby will turn into a teenager and she will date. Just saying it out loud is awful.

So to make sure only the worthiest of suitors actually makes it through I have set up a list of tasks to weed out the weaker mates.

1. Carry a gun with me at all times and casually pull it out to clean every time any potential date comes over.

2. Suddenly need to go wherever it is my daughter and her “friends” are going.

3. “Pretend” to have my sister in law run a background check on him and pull it out to go over the finer points.

4. Invite his parents over so we can discuss our expectations for not having any grandchildren any time soon and make sure to go into details of how they were conceived in case they forgot how it works.

5. Make sure to always bring my daughter the tampons she forgot at home.

13 and Pregnant

Second Edition of Crazy School Stories:  no names have been used to protect privacy:) 

The 13 and pregnant edition 

See the first edition crazy mama’s here

1. My first year teaching I had a freshman class. My first student to get pregnant was in this class. She had gotten pregnant that summer. She was 13.

2. That same year another one of my students pretended to be pregnant because her boyfriend broke up with her. He found out she had lied. They got into a big fight in front of my room. He yelled at her “I wish you had been pregnant, I could have killed you and the baby”

3. A couple years later a found out that one of my students hid a pregnancy and gave the baby to her aunt to raise as her own. The next year she got pregnant with twins she was a senior that year.

4. One student became pregnant for her father. He was arrested. She went crazy because she was in love with him. They “forced” her to get an abortion.

5. One student had to be sent to another school because even though she was pregnant she kept getting into very serious fights. They were afraid for the baby, well the school was, not the people she fought.

6. All in all I have taught ten pregnant teenagers so far. That does not include the boys who had kids because they could hide that. This is only my fourth year teaching. That abstinence only training is working!