I’m on a boat

I don’t go on cruises. Ever.

Now “people” tell me that cruises are so much fun. That is a load of shit. Being stuck on a boat with a bunch of people I really do not want to see in a swimsuit is not fun. Laying on south beach with topless models skipping about. That is fun.

Oh but they have all the food you can eat. Ok seriously? Have you ever eaten good food? Good food does not come with all you can eat options. That food you are speaking of is what lazy americans think good food tastes like. I feel sorry for those americans.

Ok well then what about the excursions? I can fly to those locations and do all of the excursions without being stuck on a boat, while eating actual local food, drinking local drinks, and embracing the culture. There is so little appreciation left for the cultures of the world.

Ok Ok what about the cost? It is true Cruises can be very affordable. But when I do something I am going to go all out. So when i go on vacation, I  go all out. I may go on less vacations than my cruising amigos, but I am going on so truly amazing vacations.

Oh and I am afraid of boats.