So you like to get hit by giant moving objects

No matter how hard I try I just cannot stop laughing at WipeOut. Where do they get these people? They want to get beat up by giant swinging objects and pits of mud. So it is obvious they are not your everyday person. They are wild. The man that rip off his clothes to have an american flag sequin spandex outfit underneath. Then dedicate his performance to Neil Diamond and chants America as he ran through the course. There was the teacher called the toothless wonder. Why? Because she can pop out her tooth. The large man with an itty bitty voice who yelled “help me” the entire time in the thickest southern accent I have ever heard. If I closed my eyes I would have pictured a southern beauty queen not a plus size man. Oh did I forget the man that thought he was the actual big foot? Then the host trying to make jokes as if they were on a real show. And those giant red balls. Has anyone ever bounced across them all?

Oh wait you win $50,000 now I get it. What will they do with the money? One dad said relocate and leave the kids. They can have the house.

Don’t you just want to get away sometimes?

I have decided I want to move to a remote tropical Island. I can see it now. Becoming a vegetarian and growing my own vegetables to live off of. Swimming in the ocean every afternoon. Writing wonderful books the world would love reading. It would be beautiful and so peaceful. How did I come to this conclusion? I am losing faith in humanity that is how. And I would like to get away from the crazies.

Perks to living on a secluded Island:

1. No crazy politicians promising to stop the separation of church and state. Because that is working out so well for Iraq and Iran.

2. No crazy commercialized christmas hooplah: Because what I need is another cheap present from walmart in my life.

3. No Reality TV: well no TV at all. I want my life back TV. I am pretty sure a world exists with out you. I think.

4. Super awesome tan year round: No one looks good pale. Not even Edward Cullen.

5. No more cultural pressure: As much fun as it is to keep up with the Jones’, I think I’ll pass.

6. No Chick-Fil-A: Chick-Fil-A donates money to hate filled organizations and it will be too soon if I have to see one again.

7. No awkward family gatherings: Being on an island it will be super expensive to visit me, so only the family that truly likes me will come. Thus ending all uncomfortable weekend long family events.

8. You will have defeated the traffic causing aliens: Ha Ha aliens that cause the traffic making me late to work. There will be no traffic on my island. You lose.

9. Everyone will be jealous of you: Sure they will pretend they couldn’t do it, but secretly they will all wish they were as cool as you.

10. Did I mention you get away from the crazies? You know who you are. Go away.

*Disclaimer- The above picture is not of an actual secluded Island. It is in fact a picture I took of Florida.