Every kid knows that the only reason parents make them go to bed is to miss out on all the fun things parents do at night. My daughter has come to this conclusion as of late.
And I can see why.
The first thing parents do when their kids go to sleep is eat whatever they want. That’s right all the cookies, soda, and crackers off the floor we can eat.
The second thing parents do when their kids go to sleep is watch really cool movies. Movies that are so cool we can’t let the kids watch because we are mean and unfair.
Next, we throw all our clothes and toys all over the room with no intention of picking them up.
Lastly, we eat your crayons. That’s right. Those crayons you get put in time out for eating all the time. It’s really because we want to eat them ourselves.
My daughter loves to eat crayons.Especially the red ones. So that when it drools out it looks as though she is a vampire baby that just fed. The blood red crayons stick to every nook and crevice in her teeth. I often wonder if maybe she is really an alien baby as my dad has been suggesting all along.
I have long been afraid of the day she climbs out of her crib out of her room and I wake with her staring at me. Now I worried she will be there staring at me with blood dripping down her lips.
I have had many conversations with her about not eating crayons. She just laughs. Yes I know conversations with a one and half year old are often futile, what can I say I enjoy a challenge.
I wish I could do what I love with same abandon. Laugh when everyone told me over and over why it was wrong. Not even skipping a beat. As though it did not matter, I loved it and that was all I knew.
Sometimes in life you just have to eat crayons.