Long Deep Breaths

I am one of those people that likes to soak life in.

I have these moments in life where time seems to stand still and I just look around soaking up every detail: Every smell, every color, every sound. Hoping that with time these memories don’t fade.



The latest one happened while I was rocking my screaming newborn to sleep in her room for an hour. What you say, how could that have been a moment you want to remember? You see as I sit in the dark nursery and look at the pale yellow walls and the freshly painted white crib, I wince at the thought of how fast these moments will pass me by.

I love every last moment of babies.

And when they grow too old to wake in the night. I cry.

Because you see, that is less time I get to spend with them.

And I don’t want to miss a single second.


Thank goodness my two year old promised to be my best friend forever.

Lies my mother told you

Why is that once woman become mothers they feel as though they must make all of the uncomfortable parenting moments into beautiful disney princess fairy tales? I’m sorry but I didn’t buy into the princess thing as a kid and I don’t now.

The biggest “fairy tales” moms say:

1. I love my stretch marks! – Who are you kidding? You love your child, they are worth the stretch marks, but you do not love giant scars on your hips, boobs, and stomach. If you were given a button at the beginning of a pregnancy that said do you want stretch marks or not. You would say not every time.

2. My child never cries- Of course they don’t and I never let my feet touch the ground because I fly everywhere I go along with my pet pig that flies as well.

3. My child will learn to share on their own when they are ready I am not going to make them- Totally. By the time they are in prison they will be totally ready to share.

4. Pregnancy is so easy- While some pregnancies can be much easier than others. Saying it is easy is a bold faced lie.  You are only fooling women who have never had children, ruining mens expectations of their pregnant wives, and well to be honest we are all talking shit about you behind your back.

5. My child potty trained themselves- So your child without you ever telling them what a potty is and how to use it decided to take off their diaper put on underwear and start using the toilet. Damn be careful that nose could take out small city at the rate its growing.

*Images from alittlebiteoflife.net, myinnerstillness.blogspot.com