The Things We Do In The Name Of A Good Time.

The best part of going out to eat is not the food. I am sure you are thinking, well girl, you are eating at the wrong restaurants. Don’t get me wrong I am a food snob and love divine cuisine, but since I can’t live in France and eat only their cheese everyday, all other food is well,  sub par. ( with the exception of praline bacon of course)

I find the best part of eating out is entertaining the server.

A few years back a group of teachers I work with decided lets go get cheap crappy italian after work. All good stories start with cheep and crappy food or beer. Groups of teachers are generally all female. But tonight one of our male co workers came with us. So naturally when we sat down  and he informed the server that we were his wives and that he was taking us out for a special treat. We all smiled and played right along, because that is what any group of women would do. When the waiter came back and asked who would like to order first, he informed the waiter I got to order first, as I was the first wife while I was pregnant, but once that baby came out I was going back to third. Then being pregnant, I ordered cheesecake as an appetizer and a full cheese pizza for myself. I could throw it back. Bless that poor waiter he never skipped a beat. And I can tell you we gave him something to talk about for weeks. I am sure he thought we were making it up, or maybe he bought it. Guess I’ll never know.

One of my favorite things is when the waiter asks you if you are out tonight for any special reason. Because going out to eat for no reason is apparently very wrong. So I have taken to saying “Oh yes! we are celebrating” They naturally ask oh what are you celebrating? My response ” My awesomeness” The awkward stares and responses that one gets are priceless.

Tonight at my favorite pizza spot in town I noticed they placed info cards on each table telling me about our server. It told me our server would be Kevin, he enjoyed photography, and his favorite dish was the lasagna. What kind of weirdo likes the lasagna at a pizza place? When the server came and introduced himself, surprise surprise, his name was not Kevin. So, naturally, I said, but you aren’t kevin. The card says we get Kevin. He said oh they haven’t changed those yet from lunch. I said well those cards are weird. He got uncomfortable and wouldn’t look me in the eye the rest of the evening.

Do enjoy going out to eat as well?

I am not dead yet, so let’s party!

I have spent that past three years cleansing my life of many things. Negative people, toxic chemicals, unhealthy relationships, etc. The last step to a complete life cleanse is to stop dying your hair. But I am sure you knew that. I have been dying my hair since I was 14. Blonde, Brown, Red, Black, but not purple. I always wanted to dye it purple.

 

I have reached the point in my life where I have a decent amount of grey hair and I want to show it. I am proud that I getting older. Hell, If I wasn’t I would be dead right?

Image from the uncyclopedia

Each grey hair is another sign that I have beaten death once again. Ha Ha death the score is now 10,250 days me ; zero for you. Why are we not out there celebrating this?

There should be parties on the street corners. People gossiping “omg did you see Becky got another grey hair. Damn she is so lucky.” Beauty pageants with a 50 % grey requirement. Kids begging to die their hair grey, so they could be cool at school.

Sigh, If only.

Wait… I think I just got an invite to a grey hair only golf club. Oh wait they don’t let woman in.