No I will not buy your shit anymore.

There is a conspiracy going on between the beauty industry and the light bulb industry. Oh and I am about to blow that shit wide open. They would have you believe they have nothing in common. They are just bringing light to the dark world. Lies.

from google images

You see they have different types of light bulbs that affect the way your image is viewed in a mirror. In particular restroom mirrors. Everyday I go to the middle school faculty bathroom, as it is the nicest, and the flourescent bulb makes me look as though I should be turning into a zombie in moments. Panic strikes my soul, and immediately I think I need a new dye job, a new keratin treatment, fresh makeup, and new clothes. Then I get home look in my mirror with nothing but natural light, and am floored by my statuesque beauty.

Blasted evil light people got me again. Damn you. I will not be tricked by your magic light beams into buying beauty products I do not need. I imagine the beauty industry is paying the light people millions of dollars to fool us into buying their products. As all women are beautiful and do not need to cover it up with colorful face paint.

The urge is so strong to go and buy something, I am left wondering if the mirror people are in on it as well.

Rise up women!

I have found a solution!

Start going to the bathroom in the dark.

Ani Difranco just might be the love of your life

In crazy wild news I was freshly pressed today! Welcome new followers to the wild and crazy world of my blog!

Ani Difranco is my favorite artist. To put it in her music has the kind of beauty that moves. She is able to express the deep emotions that I have yet to learn how to put into words. It is as though she knows how to reach deep within the soul and find meaning in an often meaningless world.

squint your eyes and look closer
I’m not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
and I’m beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you’re going to get hungry
and eat most of the words you just saidboth my parents taught me about good will
and I have done well by their names
just the kindness I’ve lavished on strangers
is more than I can explain
still there’s many who’ve turned out their porch lights
just so I would think they were not home
and hid in the dark of their windows
til I’d passed and left them alone

and god help you if you are an ugly girl
course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room
and god help you if you are a phoenix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying back

I’m not trying to give my life meaning
by demeaning you
and I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I’m not saying that I’m a saint
I just don’t want to live that way
no, I will never be a saint
but I will always say

squint your eyes and look closer
I’m not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I’m beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cause someday you might find you’re starving
and eating all of the words you said