The hippies are taking over

I have come to the conclusion that babies are born dirty hippies. Gasp! Yeah, I said it. What, did you think babies came out of the womb with reading glasses, an old suit, and a desire to increase their 401K?

They love to be naked. Not just love, but will take their clothes off at any given moment and run around screaming in delight.

They love to play in the dirt, mud, anything messy will do. I mean you can do with so much with dirt. You can eat it. Rub it all over your clothes. Get it wet and jump in it. Throw it at people. Come to think of it, when was the last time you had a good mud wrestling competition. I know it has been too long.

Arts and Crafts are the high point of their day. Crafts, glue, glitter, paint, and self expression. Oh the self expression.

They love animals. Big animals, small animals, fluffy animals, pretty much all animals. They are just so cuddly. Can’t we save them all.

They make music with non musical instruments. Pots and pans, wooden spoons, sticks, or maybe a box. They simply feel the music within them always. Sure they will use an instrument if one is around, but when the music is in your soul, you just have to let it out.

*images from google image*

 

Alligator=Thanksgiving

 

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for everything you have in life. Spend amazing family time together. And of course eat alligator. Wait, what you don’t eat alligator stuffing with your turduckin? Are you not American? Oh wait I get it.

Where you live it is not 80 degrees and swamp covered. Thus you don’t have a large supply of alligators and it would be too expensive to put it in your dinner.

Oh hang on you dont have turduckin either? What do you even eat? I bet you didn’t even have fried pickles as a side. A Turduckin is a hen stuffed inside a duck stuffed inside a turkey and it is epic and awesome. You can order one online. Do it. You wont regret it.

I really do enjoy thanksgiving. Especially now that I have a little girl that likes to put on a show for the family. She sings and dances and chases the animals around the house. She runs around talking the whole time. I can usually understand about one in every four words. I usually just comment something such as of course baby, totally, and thats sounds great, uh huh. Thinking on it. What if she is telling me of her plans to take over the world with her ninja baby friends. Or how she is planning to be a horrible teenage girl and is already laughing at my future torment. Here I am smiling and nodding as if she were saying something cute and funny. Maybe all the babies are just laughing at us. I bet they have secret meetings and are plotting their take over as we speak.

Vampire Babies

 

My daughter loves to eat crayons.Especially the red ones. So that when it drools out it looks as though she is a vampire baby that just fed. The blood red crayons stick to every nook and crevice in her teeth. I often wonder if maybe she is really an alien baby as my dad has been suggesting all along.

I have long been afraid of the day she climbs out of her crib out of her room and I wake with her staring at me. Now I worried she will be there staring at me with blood dripping down her lips.

I have had many conversations with her about not eating crayons. She just laughs. Yes I know conversations with a one and half year old are often futile, what can I say I enjoy a challenge.

I wish I could do what I love with same abandon. Laugh when everyone told me over and over why it was wrong. Not even skipping a beat. As though it did not matter, I loved it and that was all I knew.

Sometimes in life you just have to eat crayons.