I hope you studied part III

I have been taking you on a magical journey through high school exams. Part One and Part Two.

Giving exams can be quite different from taking them. One of the most frustrating parts of exams is the students who chose not to do the review for the exams. I know I am a great teacher, but you really want me to believe you learned an entire years worth of math so well that you do not need to do any review problems? You flatterer you. Those students are always the first ones finished. I cringe when they set their test down and the front page is covered in mistakes.

Students like that make you understand why someone would want to drink at work. I never would, but I know the feeling of students making you want to drink. There are even t-shirts that say, if you taught highschool you would drink too. Speaking of drinks, I wonder how I can sneak booze into my mother in-laws for memorial day? Should I just flask it? Or go with the Smirnoff in a water bottle? It would be so much easier if drinking wasn’t against their religion. I am just trying to be like jesus and feed the people wine.

As the kids all slowly finish their test, there is always that one still going. They make eye contact and then quickly look away. Knowing I am waiting for them to finish and them alone. It is an intense moment. I try not to look at them, so they will not feel any pressure. Believe it or not I want them to do well on the test. I know you thought I was in teaching for the money, so one day I could go on house hunters international.

Who are these people buying million dollar vacation homes and how do I become friends with them? I have yet to break into this elite group. And watching them on tv is killing me. Must be nice 25 year old couple buying a home in the bahamas because you just want to get away from your stressful life. Must be nice.

As the students all leave for the year I often wonder what I will do without them all summer. Who will fill me in on the latest boy band songs? What will I do without someone telling me how awesome it is to get a driver’s license? And of course what will I do without the daily reminder that every other teacher lets their class go to lunch early?

I always leave my students with this advice- be good and if you can’t be good be safe.

The Finer Things

What’s your poison?

Coffee? Cigarettes? Booze? Romantic novels? Italian men ?

image from google images

Growing up we are taught about the evils of the world. Well, little southern baptist boys and girls are. Don’t swear, Don’t be a slut, Don’t drink, Don’t look like a slut, Go to church, Don’t date a slut. The list goes on.

But how bad are these things?

What is bad? What is good?

The king fu master turtle in Kung Fu Panda says there is no good or bad news only news. On the tenth time of me watching this wonderful film, I began to ponder what is that old turtle saying?

Of course there is bad and good in this world.

But are all of the things we are worrying about, truly the end of the world we imagine them to be?

If I have my health, and my family, is it the end of the world if I say the word fuck?