My friday advice for you:
Dad- “Man, I really think I should have ordered the duck last night.”
Me- “You mean duck was on the menu and you got something else? If duck is on the menu, always get the duck.”
image from food republik
I went to Georgia Tech and majored in history. Why go to an engineering school and major in history? Because I walk the line. One of my favorite professors was Dr. Flamming. I took every class he offered. From time to time he would give us “life tips” and tell us to write them down. Being the rule follower I am, I wrote them all down.
Dr. Flamming’s words to live by:
1. When you are assigned something to read and did not read it and are asked what you thought about it. Always say “It was an interesting argument not without its problems.”
2. Advice to a student in class who was expecting twins “Go to the bathroom and sleep as much as possible.”
3. Don’t come to class late and if you do always say you fell asleep at the library.
4. Push the voting button as hard as possible
5. Don’t go to Missouri. Ever.
6. Go over your notes before a presentation, even if it makes you late.
7. Follow your beautiful molecule. Translation- if you do something you love you will be successful.
8. Write notes on one side of the paper only or go up in flames.
9. Dig up maps for research papers. Historians will eat them up.
10. How to gut a book- Look at the date of publication, table of contents, read the first couple paragraphs of every chapter, read the first sentence of every paragraph, and read the last two paragraphs of each chapter.
11. The best smell in the world is the first copy of your book.
12. The most important decision in life is not your career, but your spouse.
Often times in life you find yourself in awkward uncomfortable situations. One of my least favorite is the walking in on a couple fighting moment. For me this is an every day situation with my neighbors. It is a knock down drag out fight everyday. Then loud phone conversations about affairs. What to do in this situation?
1. Never leave your house again. Your house is warm and safe. And hey you can even get groceries delivered now.
2. Pretend to be on your phone as you walk to and from your car. This gives you the appearance of not hearing anything that is going on.
3. Send flowers with a love you note attached. And just sit and wait for the fireworks to ensure. That will be a good show. Don’t forget to have popcorn ready.
4. Sell your house, join the peace corps, and give up shaving. Drastic times call for drastic measures.
5. Hide behind the curtain and take notes on what not to do in a marriage. Someone might as well learn something from this situation. Then sell your ideas and go on Oprah.
Time for my super important Sunday advice:
1. Be careful what you title your blog. I have a blog titled Old Ladies gone wild. In which I discuss being very outspoken as I get older. At least once a week I get a hit from someone searching old ladies doing it on google. Dead serious. I guess you could say hey someone is reading your blog, but do I really one someone who is watching old ladies doing it porn reading my blog. Not really.
2. Be careful what you say to teenage boys. I once said that is what she said to a 14 year old not even thinking about what it really means. OMG they could not stop laughing. I had to be like thats not what I meant, but it didn’t matter at that point. too late.
What sunday advice do you have ?
nevercontrary 