I should not be left to my own devices

Reasons why my wife should not go out of town ever again:

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1. She hides all of the kids favorite toys, so when you promise the kid they can play with them they are no where to be found.

2. She has also hidden everything else you could ever need. Such as crayons, pots and pans, lids to cups, underwear, and essentially everything.

3. There is no one to take turns with when it come to needing a five minute break from the kid. We are coming over papa watch out.

4. There is no one to rub your feet at night

5. There is no one to clean up the clothes you leave all over the floor

6. There is no one to make you your before bed snack.

7. You will have to make your own breakfast.

8. You will be stuck alone at night with no one to kick out of bed for taking up too much space.

9. If the car runs out of gas, you will be forced to go to one of those places they sell gas and fill it up. The horror.

Wifey you are not allowed to go away again.

19 thoughts on “I should not be left to my own devices

  1. I’m not sure how my husband survives when I take the kiddo to visit my parents. As far as I can tell, he never eats and never has any clean clothes. I am guessing he lives off Coke Zero, buys new socks when he runs out of clean ones, and sleeps from the time he gets home until the next morning. Now, for me, when he’s gone, I just wish I had someone to watch the kid while I take a shower, I watch as the pile of recycling grows, and procrastinate on taking out the trash.

  2. My hubster worries about leaving me home alone..he leaves me a list of everything I should eat while he’s gone (he does ALL the cooking). On the flip side I am creating a Just In Case book for him (as in just in case I die) because he’s found when I’m away he doesn’t know anything other than the cooking! Hasn’t paid a bill in 30 years, not sure where anything legal or financial might be….not sure how to do the laundry or find anything that isn’t left on a counter…..definitely forgets that bathrooms don’t clean themselves…..

  3. Ha! Gawd, I hate when ALL of that happens (but especially the foot rub). For me, the worst going away time was when all four kids were under the age of five and he had to be gone for more than a week, all the while entertaining his clients with fine dining, football games, and beer. He still owes me big time for that one. I don’t think I ever fully regained my sanity.

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