Come and knock on my door, I’ve been waiting for you.

Hello 2 am. Why no, this is not three’s company, I am not glad you knocked on my door.

As I lay awake in bed, and my mind wanders endlessly through all the things in life that piss me off, I find myself wondering, what do people think about when they are unable to sleep? Do you too lay awake thinking about your personal life struggles?

For me, I know I lay awake thinking through all of the 1100 plus legal rights I am denied every single day. It rolls over and over in my mind until I want to scream. But, truly it is not the denial of rights that keep me up, but the people who call themselves my friends that do not care that I am denied such basic rights.

When I have had enough of that I begin to scrutinize my lesson plans for school. Sending myself into a tizzy over getting all of students to actually learn calculus instead of sit in the back of the class with a unicorn mask on. True story.

I wonder if it would be possible to turn my thoughts to happy fluffy thoughts on restless nights. Maybe everyone else lays awake thinking of thanksgiving dinner, or magical vacations. Because naturally the best happy thoughts involve pumpkin pie and vacation. Oh my god y’all we should all go on a thanksgiving vacation where pumpkin pie is served everyday.

As I struggle on my journey towards inner peace, knowing full well, you cannot find inner peace. It is already within you. I know I must let my frustration go. Frustration is a simple emotion. It changes nothing but your perspective of the world around you. It does not actually change the world around you.

Whether I sleep at all tonight will not make the sun rise any later, or my boss suddenly decide we can do without that lunch meeting. It will make me super sleepy and probably nauseous all day, but hey inner peace wasn’t achieved in a day. Many spend their entire lives trying to calm their inner mind, but few are able to do so.

Namaste

 

p.s. you are totally singing the theme song to three’s company right now aren’t you?

p.p.s I totally miss 70’s tv.

23 thoughts on “Come and knock on my door, I’ve been waiting for you.

  1. You are wise beyond your ears. (When my husband was a little boy, he thought this was the saying, and that it meant to question everything you hear because it could be untrue. I like it.)

  2. Do you want the government to give you your legal rights, or do you want to take away the power of the government to regulate our personal lives? I personally would like to see the government stripped of its power. Why does it have so much sayso?

    • Let’s get one thing straight. The government does not give or take away rights, people do that. Individual, and groups of people that write laws do that. Society would not function without regulation. There will always be a need for government, and there will always be debate as to what the governments true purpose is. But, to say I am simply waiting for the government to grant me the rights you get simply by being married to a man is an insult. People will have to change which will cause a change in the laws which will in turn change the regulations of the government. Not the other way around.

      • I apologize, I did not mean to insult you by implying you were waiting for something. I simply wanted to know the method of how you thought your rights will change. I think it is horrible that the government currently discriminates – or when does it not? While I think regulation is necessary to some degree, I do not think the government should be entitled to say what is right or wrong in terms of our personal relationships or social actions. I think they do this especially through the tax system, which is simply criminal. I also apologize for being one of your friends who takes the system for granted and the easy way out. In hindsight I wish I didn’t have the piece of paper granted to me by the government saying my marriage is legal. It is a marriage because of our vows to each other only.

      • I know you did not mean an insult by what you asked. It is a very sensitive subject and I wanted to answer as honestly as possible. I do not begrudge you that you have rights. Enjoy them to the fullest degree!

  3. I usually end up thinking the best one-liners and conversations for my book and then spend much more time convincing myself that I will remember it all in the morning…knowing how to find that inner peace when I awake comes in handy.

    On a side note: we do not need government to have a society. People can regulate themselves. Giving responsibility over to a governing body is what causes people to do the things which they would not have done in the first place if they did not have someone else to blame. http://www.redicecreations.com/radio/2012/05/RIR-120529.php

    • I do not have the faith in human nature that you do. I have seen to many people do too many bad things in their own name, and proud of it, to believe that left to our devices chaos would not ensure.

  4. I usually end up thinking the best one-liners and conversations for my book and then spend much more time convincing myself that I will remember it all in the morning…knowing how to find that inner peace when I awake comes in handy.

    On a side note: we do not need government to have a society. People can regulate themselves. Giving responsibility over to a governing body is what causes people to do the things which they would not have done in the first place if they did not have someone else to blame. http://www.redicecreations.com/radio/2012/05

  5. I am singing the song, oh yes, it is sitting in my head and won’t let go! For me, the late night thinking (and not sleeping) sometimes helps me put things into perspective. I would love to hear more about the unicorn mask. I had a freshman who would wear a Batman mask around his neck everyday. I tried to come up with some cool creative writing prompts to get him to explain why, but he never wrote about it. Hmm. Something for me to ponder at 2 a.m.

  6. Another thought: you could be perfectly normal.  Check out this article from last month on rethinking sleep.  It explains how our household works, for sure.   PS – yes, I’m singing Three’s Company’s theme song now, thank you very much.

  7. I am totally singing the theme song now! And yes. I lay awake for hours at a time. I should just get up but I don’t. I needed to hear what you had to say in this post today. Thanks

  8. Not two seconds ago, my sister and I exchanged an email about the theme song to Welcome Back Kotter – we really did!

    I was awake around 1am — with racing thoughts of upcoming soccer tournaments, tasks for today at work, things I forgot to do yesterday, etc. The solutions that I’m tossing around all involve warm milk and booze. I’ll let you know how that works…

  9. I had to train myself to spell a word out in my mind and see myself writing the same word over and over. It took me awhile but once I got it down sleep became a lot easier. No sleep ruins your day I hope you find some way to sleep better soon.

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