The time of year we all celebrate what is gross and evil, hooray!

Today is almost October 1st. So naturally, we began our month long halloween celebration. If you knew me in high school you would wonder how I had gone from not celebrating Halloween because it was a satanic pagan holiday to a month long celebration, but isn’t that everyone’s natural progression?

Halloween and October mark the beginning of fall. The stores begin to put out fall decorations, isles upon isles of candy to continue the decline of American youth into a hopeless cycle of depression and despair, and of course Christmas begins to go up in many stores as well. America is nothing if not a good corporation ready to sell you cheaply made goods at your weakest moments.

We began our celebration with cookies. I always bring cookies to the old ladies who live in the two houses next to me. Little did I know that bringing cookies today would make me privy to the war that is about to start between the three houses next to each other all because one of the old ladies needs a boyfriend that makes more money than the one she has. Yes it is an awesome story, but it deserves it’s own post, so I will continue on.

I can smell the cookie wonderfulness from here.

Next we went to the center of all that is Halloween, Party City. The aisles were covered in cob webs with “giant happy bad guys” hanging from the ceiling. Why did my daughter think they were happy, I guess I will never know. Creepy kid. We have been talking for weeks about this costume. She looked through the catalog each morning with her breakfast everyday.

Nothing like the morning paper to get your day started.

It was time to commit. The pressure was building. We went to the wall of pictures and found the number of our costume.  The store clerk, who seemed a little old to be working at party city, brought us our magical Alice in Wonderland dress. She squeeled in delight. Did we try it on right then and there. Absolutely. [the old store clerk said we could so there] What was the first thing she said, when she looked down at her dress? Where is the rabbit? A sign that she has watched Alice too many times, or a sign that she can memorize lines and will be a famous actress that buys me a giant mansion because she loves me so much. Only time will tell. I am hoping for the giant mansion. Blogging parties anyone? Bring your own red solo cups.

“It’s a pretty dress”

Wait, you mean there is more to this magical not yet Halloween day? Why, yes there is. A bath with glow sticks to be exact. I know your mind is being blown as we speak. Glow sticks are something I was deprived of as a child. But, not my kid. We shall glow every night if we want to.

“Mommy, it’s dark”

p.s. Our day ended with homemade chicken parmesan made by my wife, who swears when we met she had never cooked, and a raspberry pie, made by yours truly. It’s ok to be a little jealous. I would be. Except I can’t be jealous of myself.

25 thoughts on “The time of year we all celebrate what is gross and evil, hooray!

  1. Love the glow sticks in the bath! I am trying to convince the boys that they can “create” a costume out of one of the MANY “bloody skeleton”, “undead doctor”, or “zombie jester” costumes they already own….

  2. I have had our Halloween decorations up for a month already. I told my mom and she asked me if that was a little early, but HOLY CRAP it’s the baby’s first Halloween! We are going to savor it! Lol she’s already ripped all the fake cobwebs down, though.

    I am going to go with your daughter is a genius and is memorizing lines in preparation for a career in Hollywood. This is mostly because I want to drink out of red solo cups at your mansion.

  3. My kids have been ogling that very same Party City catalogue for almost a week now. It’s the longest my son has ever read a “book.” And coincidentally, my daughter has also chosen to be Alice in Wonderland…but she is older (and by that I mean just 7) so the manufacturer feels the need to add the striped hooker gloves to the costume. At least she didn’t pick a costume that started with the word “sexy”. Because those actually do exist for girls her age. Gross.

  4. Loved Halloween when the kids were little. Still remember the time I pulled my daughter along in the wagon with her beautiful butterfly wings bounding while my son ran up to the door in his homemade Buzz Lightyear costume. He still remembers it and said, last night, “It was bad ass.” Yes! Don’t you love it when Mommy scores? You certainly did.

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