Earlier I wrote a mind blowing post about what not to ask a lesbian about sex. Today I am going to blow your mind with more gay education.
What not to say to a pregnant lesbian:
Why yes, that is my belly, my how long ago that seems now.
1. But you can’t get pregnant? / How did that happen?
One, you sound ignorant. There is in fact multiple ways to get pregnant without having sex with a boy. Two, what you are really asking me is how I got sperm in my vagina. You do realize that don’t you? Have you ever asked a straight woman that? No, because it is rude as hell to ask someone how they got sperm up their vagina.
2. Won’t you kid be messed up because they don’t have a dad?
The best part this was asked to me by someone who is messed up because their parents were abusive, yes, her heterosexual mom and dad. To answer your question, no my child will be far better off, more loved, and more prepared for life than you ever were. Thanks. And yes, I have multiple research studies to back that up.
3. Who’s the dad?
Really? Do you ask your straight friends this? Just because they are in a committed relationship doesn’t mean that is the dad. No, that would be rude wouldn’t it? My standard answer, my baby is a blessing from god. Thank you.
4. Was it an accident?
This one made me laugh and laugh. They literally forgot I couldn’t get pregnant by accident. Made my night.
5. Are you going to tell them who their dad is?
One, none of your damn business. Two, they have two parents thank you. Did I mention it is none of your damn business.
6. Do you think they will be gay?
One, straight people have gay kids, not gay people. Two, I can no more change the color of my child’s eyes then their sexuality. If they are gay it is not because of me, but because they were born that way. I will love them no matter what. What we really should be discussing is how you will handle it when your kid comes out.
oops that is six not five. Oh well. I could go on all night.
nevercontrary 
Ha. The one that made me laugh and laugh is el numbre uno – “how did that happen?” Uh… seriously?
I think I shall start saying magic.
People are so freaking stupid. You’re brave. I never took a belly photo.
When you have a professional take them they edit them to look all pretty. I wanted at least a few pics where i looked nice.
Oy! I am mortified that people ask these questions. I would qualify these as micro-aggressions.
I think they are just so ignorant/ clueless that they truly do not know.
There seems to be a frickin boat load of stupid people in the world (or as my hubby always says, most people don’t think and those that do don’t think like us).
Beyond their stupidity is that issue if HOW IS THIS THEIR BUSINESS? Sometimes I get asked questions related to the fact my son is gay and I have actually laughed out loud at people. And then walked away. Sheesh.
Good for you. You should carry glitter and sprinkle it on them too. In a non threatening way of course.
Love Love Love Loved this! =] People have NOOOOOO filters! 1 & 3 made me giggle the most. So true, that you wouldn’t straight up ask someone how semen ended up in their vagina. Ha! On the other hand, it is really sad that people find it okay to ask & that it is even close being their business *shakes head* Your belly picture is lovely.
It is pretty funny. Thanks!
Accident? Hahahahahahahahaha!! Definitely laugh worthy 🙂
Best part it was my step sister. haha she is hilarious.
oh and my step mom once asked me if I was on the pill…. i just shook my head and walked away.
I think it’s the psychologist in me that finds 3 and 5 to be interesting questions. But I would only ask a good friend who’s willing to chat about it.
I don’t mind good friends asking, however, I still find it inappropriate to ask me that no matter how close we are.
it might be the sleep dep talking here, but in #6 you said that straight people have kids, not gay people? I’m thinking there’s a missed word in there somewhere, because obviously gay people have kids or this (hilarious) article wouldn’t exist!
Congratulations on the baby!
Thank you I fixed that right up. Should say straight people have gay kids. whoops.
Yes! The post I have been waiting for! And you didn’t disappoint. People are so dumb.
If it was socially acceptable to talk about these things in school, or at all, maybe people wouldn’t be so dumb about it.
loved each n every answer…i know its so stupid no one will ask such questions to someone straight…
your daughter is lucky to have loving parents and she is going to grow into a wonderful human being and you will be proud of her… 🙂
Thank you so much!
One of my best friends is gay and had a baby. In fact, she and her partner just got married and their 2 year old was in the wedding. I found the process fascinating and even had her write some guest blogs on the whole IVF thing, but I could NEVER imagine asking someone I didn’t have some close relationship all the nitty gritty. And some of those questions…Two and six especially. Jeez.
I always answer the questions because I think it is important to educate people. When people know and understand they are less afraid and more accepting. I just still am shocked at people who rarely talk to me will out of nowhere ask.
I’m glad you do even though they rub you the wrong way.
When my cousin’s partner got pregnant, I said, “Congratulations! And welcome to the family!” 🙂
Cute belly! I wish belly pictures had been popular when I had my daughter 18 years ago.
What a lovely response.
They have the most beautiful little boy! He’s lucky to have to mamas who love him unconditionally, and a large, wacky family to back them up!
All children should be lucky enough to have two parents who love each other and their children unconditionally.
You, your partner and your baby are a blessing from God. Congrats to you all! And I am totally behind your awesome post! Please check out mine as well-
http://medicatedwordzallowed.wordpress.com/
http://coconutspeak.wordpress.com/
Thanks for stopping by!
I can’t believe people ask these things!
Hilarious! You wouldn’t believe the comments my partner and I get when out with our black twins…seriously.
I would love to hear some of those fabulous comments.
love it
Thanks!!