Get off my property or I will send my pet ghost after you

You know what is wrong with America today?


Yes as a teacher I believe this wholeheartedly.

How did I come to this conclusion. Obviously the door to door religious salesmen in my neighborhood.

knock, knock … who is it? … It’s the Jesus people ma’am we are here to save you from the perils of the universe with only 3 easy payments


Every saturday a church group ( I am not going to say which church you can guess if you want) goes door to door in big groups throughout the neighborhood telling tales of how we are in the end times.

I decided that I had spoken with them enough times and put up a very classy silver no soliciting sign.

see the handprint- that is the ghost’s handprint. I am not lying.

Now, one would think that this wonderful sign would strongly let solicitors know I am warning them to stay off my property.

One problem, they do not know what soliciting means. Dead serious.

Education Fail.

I have taken to barely opening the door, yelling no soliciting and slamming it shut. Has proven to be quite effective.



30 thoughts on “Get off my property or I will send my pet ghost after you

  1. Ok, I live in the South, too, and I have to say that I am VERY thankful the roving religious people have not wandered through my neighborhood! I do get the occasional stranger at my door. Usually the two screaming children is enough to scare them away, though…

  2. How about setting up hidden little speakers with ghost noises playing…or a Beware Of Dog sign – I’m sorta in the South and I know that everyone can read that sign..

  3. Haha! Technically, the religion-walkers (I like to call them) are not soliciting, they’re proselytizing. It’s why they – and the political types – don’t make the national do-not-call list no matter how many times you apply your phone numbers. But a nice “Home Sweet Hell” sign might do the trick.

    We ignore them all equally. My non-religion suits me very much, thank you. I figure if God wants me, he knows where to find me without sending out scouts.

    • I did not know they qualified as something else. I saw a sign on pinterest that said, we found jesus, we love our vacuum, and we something else can’t remember it. Thought is was pretty cute.

  4. I was glad I don’t have “religious rovers” pounding on my door, trying to sell me their religion, but then I read this 😦 You guys have some great ideas and I can’t really use them! I especially like the story about the man getting the hose and squirting him. Ah well, maybe one day I’ll get that chance. Until then, I might try it on my annoying neighbors.

    Cute story, though! Keep at it. I’m sure they’ll leave eventually 🙂

  5. I am going to have to make myself one of those signs… Usually when I’m out walking in a shopping plaza minding my own business, there’s a group of four that always comes up to me even though it’s obvious I’m walking to the other side to get away from them…. I figured I could post the sign on my forehead or my back. LOL!

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