Today I let anger win and that makes me sad.

Today was a dark day. I actually got into a heated confrontation with someone. Something that is becoming more of a rare occurrence for me.

It all started with me saying I felt unsafe when I drove through states like Texas. Which brought the you are being paranoid comment. And I lost it.

Am I being paranoid when, I have been pulled over and harassed by cops in Texas to the point of tears?

Am I being paranoid when, I have had doctors refuse to be my doctor?

Am I being paranoid when, I have had strangers come up to me and tell me I am going to hell?

Am I being paranoid when, I have people come up to me while I was pregnant and tell me my child would be be messed up because I was their parent?

Am I being paranoid when, I cannot send my child to half of the schools in the city I live in, simply because I am her mother?

Am I being paranoid when, I have been offered jobs and then they take it back?

Am I being paranoid when, I have had co workers who have never met me try to get me fired?

Am I being paranoid when, I turn on the news and people are calling for my death?

Am I being paranoid when, presidential candidates are saying children with father’s in prison are better off then in my home?

Am I being paranoid when, I am getting refused service in a restaurant and asked to leave?

Am I being paranoid when, many state’s GOP platform includes that my family is tearing at the fabric of society?

yes, a lot of people love the gays. But, do not for one second think that being a gay family in the south all rainbows.

37 thoughts on “Today I let anger win and that makes me sad.

  1. Bonnie,
    What a brilliant post. I’m sorry it was difficult for you. But we need to remember that if you are part of the LGBT community, we must always be aware of where are we safe. We are also policed in ways that are dramatically disproportionate to our heterosexual brothers and sisters.

    • I know this, but it often hurts more when people truly think gay people are just making up being second class citizens more than the outright hate. So many people have no clue what we a denied every second of every day. Sometimes it is hard to breath just thinking about it.

  2. Testify! Don’t be sad; be mad. You have a right and every reason to be. I can’t for a minute pretend to know what your life is like, but I can get mad along with you.

  3. Please move here. Ive got room to spare. We are currently celebrating Pride Week. Nowhere is completely without prejudice or stupidity but tomorrow well over a million people will come together to celebrate and demonstrate. Toronto at its best!

  4. Paranoid? No. Realistic? Yes. Human? Absolutely!!! Never give up. Have strength and know that you are not alone. And yes, give in to anger from time to time – it’s a healthy, normal reaction and you shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself or blame yourself for being normal.

  5. You are not paranoid. Your post makes me so mad (along with you). I hate that we live in a world where these things are still happening. It is a travesty and it rips my heart out to think of anyone treating you that way. I hope that I can be the kind of person that helps make the world a better place. A place where everyone can feel safe! I think its great that you are writing about this. People should know! Peace and love from your sis.

  6. I read your post about 3 times, because I was confused initially, that doctors refused to be your doctor. At the end of the first reading, I realized it was because you were gay, but was still confused because that never entered my mind as a legitimate reason to refuse care to anyone. And I read it again, to make sure that I read it correctly, and I had, still confused, and then the third time, I was no longer confused because that is what you were saying, and it made me sad, and when I thought about it, I remember hearing stories (whispers, really) of colleagues that while not fully refusing to treat, they don’t treat the same do to a belief that it is a lifestyle choice that disagrees with their religious bias, and it makes me angry and sad.

    I don’t pretend to know what it is like to live your life, but I don’t think that you are paranoid. I hope that in my youth, I was not one of those people you were talking about, I am sure that I am not doctor. I don’t understand how a religion that is supposed to be based in love preaches such hate. I wish you well, and living in Oklahoma, I can tell you, you probably are not paranoid.

    • Thank you for caring enough to read it until you understood. You would be surprised how often you have to check to make sure people and places are gay friendly. I am glad that you not one of those people. That is all one can hope for. Thank you again for taking the time to care.

  7. Interesting piece. I understand the feeling of not feeling safe to tread through certain states, countries, areas, regions, cities, or even neighbourhoods. We are all in the end animals and our instincts are indeed alive and well. I once avoided the Wawa and the Sault St. Marie area only because of silly comment someone made about native American Indians and my being a lone woman on a bicycle travelling west along the Transcanada highway. I dipped down States side , felt I was no longer in Canada and never once camped – only stayed in motels because I wasn’t sure of what I might or might not encounter . We all know what we have to do and we do it regardless of our sex or sexual orientation. In the end , if we do not listen to our basic instincts, there is a chance that we might find ourselves in a bit of a pickle!!! and not always such a pleasant one at that but in the end pickle – good or bad – everything happens for a reason, we learn from what happens, react how we do and move on. And another thing that is interesting – how we view a situation determines our reaction to it, how we remember it and what we take away from it. Good luck in your growth!!!

  8. Reading this makes me more mad at how people behave towards gays… sending you all the love…forget it, remember you have a loving family and they love you…as for people well somethings will just wont change not so soon…
    stay strong, you are an inspiration for people like me

  9. Pingback: Blogging for LGBT families Day: Master Post of Contributions — Add Yours! – Mombian

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