I hope you studied part III

I have been taking you on a magical journey through high school exams. Part One and Part Two.

Giving exams can be quite different from taking them. One of the most frustrating parts of exams is the students who chose not to do the review for the exams. I know I am a great teacher, but you really want me to believe you learned an entire years worth of math so well that you do not need to do any review problems? You flatterer you. Those students are always the first ones finished. I cringe when they set their test down and the front page is covered in mistakes.

Students like that make you understand why someone would want to drink at work. I never would, but I know the feeling of students making you want to drink. There are even t-shirts that say, if you taught highschool you would drink too. Speaking of drinks, I wonder how I can sneak booze into my mother in-laws for memorial day? Should I just flask it? Or go with the Smirnoff in a water bottle? It would be so much easier if drinking wasn’t against their religion. I am just trying to be like jesus and feed the people wine.

As the kids all slowly finish their test, there is always that one still going. They make eye contact and then quickly look away. Knowing I am waiting for them to finish and them alone. It is an intense moment. I try not to look at them, so they will not feel any pressure. Believe it or not I want them to do well on the test. I know you thought I was in teaching for the money, so one day I could go on house hunters international.

Who are these people buying million dollar vacation homes and how do I become friends with them? I have yet to break into this elite group. And watching them on tv is killing me. Must be nice 25 year old couple buying a home in the bahamas because you just want to get away from your stressful life. Must be nice.

As the students all leave for the year I often wonder what I will do without them all summer. Who will fill me in on the latest boy band songs? What will I do without someone telling me how awesome it is to get a driver’s license? And of course what will I do without the daily reminder that every other teacher lets their class go to lunch early?

I always leave my students with this advice- be good and if you can’t be good be safe.

12 thoughts on “I hope you studied part III

  1. I had a teacher in the sixth grade who always encouraged us tovtake our time on our exams. There was this kid named Tim Hair (I remember his name for obvious reasons) who would go thru too fast and the teacher always sang the theme song to Speed Racer when he turned his work in. I think she thought this little ritual would embarrass him enough to slow him down but it never worked.

  2. I feel your pain. Driving a truck leaves me alone with my thoughts, All. Day. Long. Fortunately I can drown out my mental meanderings with my iPod or talking on the phone or playing with my puppet Jeff the T-Rex (that’s some entertainment right there, lemme tell ya). It can get scary if you’re alone in your head for too long.

  3. i loved this series. i also always love it when you talk about being a teacher and your students. you make me think about things i never would otherwise…like, what the feck the teacher was thinking during all of my exams. now i know. ;0 so enjoyed it and i beg you to write more about that crew girl. lol. xo

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