There is a conspiracy going on between the beauty industry and the light bulb industry. Oh and I am about to blow that shit wide open. They would have you believe they have nothing in common. They are just bringing light to the dark world. Lies.
You see they have different types of light bulbs that affect the way your image is viewed in a mirror. In particular restroom mirrors. Everyday I go to the middle school faculty bathroom, as it is the nicest, and the flourescent bulb makes me look as though I should be turning into a zombie in moments. Panic strikes my soul, and immediately I think I need a new dye job, a new keratin treatment, fresh makeup, and new clothes. Then I get home look in my mirror with nothing but natural light, and am floored by my statuesque beauty.
Blasted evil light people got me again. Damn you. I will not be tricked by your magic light beams into buying beauty products I do not need. I imagine the beauty industry is paying the light people millions of dollars to fool us into buying their products. As all women are beautiful and do not need to cover it up with colorful face paint.
The urge is so strong to go and buy something, I am left wondering if the mirror people are in on it as well.
Rise up women!
I have found a solution!
Start going to the bathroom in the dark.