No I will not buy your shit anymore.

There is a conspiracy going on between the beauty industry and the light bulb industry. Oh and I am about to blow that shit wide open. They would have you believe they have nothing in common. They are just bringing light to the dark world. Lies.

from google images

You see they have different types of light bulbs that affect the way your image is viewed in a mirror. In particular restroom mirrors. Everyday I go to the middle school faculty bathroom, as it is the nicest, and the flourescent bulb makes me look as though I should be turning into a zombie in moments. Panic strikes my soul, and immediately I think I need a new dye job, a new keratin treatment, fresh makeup, and new clothes. Then I get home look in my mirror with nothing but natural light, and am floored by my statuesque beauty.

Blasted evil light people got me again. Damn you. I will not be tricked by your magic light beams into buying beauty products I do not need. I imagine the beauty industry is paying the light people millions of dollars to fool us into buying their products. As all women are beautiful and do not need to cover it up with colorful face paint.

The urge is so strong to go and buy something, I am left wondering if the mirror people are in on it as well.

Rise up women!

I have found a solution!

Start going to the bathroom in the dark.

37 thoughts on “No I will not buy your shit anymore.

  1. I wonder about it myself half the time. In my mirror at home I look fine, but in public mirrors I look so worn out and tired. Man, what gives?!

  2. I swear they have “ugly lights” in my hair salon. I always look old and tired compared to my young and beautiful stylist. Now, of course, I am old and tired, but geez!

  3. Brilliant observation (no pun intended)! It’s so true…there is no make up I have ever bought at a cosmetic counter that looks the same once I left the store. Let’s not even talk about the jeans that looked so great in the fitting room, only to be returned once I got them home!

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  5. Lights are deceiving and so are mirrors and none of the stuff solves the problems you want to solve unless it’s lipstick adding a little color. Oh woe!

  6. Too funny!

    I also see a conspiracy in Atlanta where the car shops pay the road people to not only not fix potholes etc but to make them worse…

  7. If I look tired, I probably am. If it looks like all the make-up slid off my face, it’s because I don’t wear it on a regular basis. (Only at church on Sundays, and only thne because I don’t want to scare the little children.) Another masterpiece! Sandy

  8. Yeah, you’ve got a point. I hate the way I look in my own room’s mirror but love my appearance in the bathroom’s.

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