Every teenager has a list at the ready to be recited of things their parents have done to screw them up. Naturally, I do not want to deprive my daughter of being able to do this.
1. I have told her that wheat bread cut into circles is in fact a cookie. She literally thinks she is eating cookies. It has worked so well that when she if offered a real cookie she refuses to eat them.
2. Every day after work we have a dance party. She is at the age where she loves to copy what I do. I purposely do horrible dance moves. She copies them thinking we are great dancers. This will be quite the disappointment for her later.
3. During our dance party she always requests Lady Gaga. What better to dance to. The only problem is she is a little young for most of her songs. So, I play oldies and tell her it is Lady Gaga.
4. She will go to the school I work at. (unless we move). Yep pre k- 12th grade. Be at a school where everyone knows me and I know all her friends and what they are all up to. She may even be in my class, more than once.
But really everything I have done is small potatoes in comparison to the ridiculous things parents have said with auto correct on their smart phones. If you really want a good laugh, go to the bathroom first, then click here.
Thanks for the laugh! Great post π
Any time !
The one about the cookies is utterly genius! Will have to remember that one! Also, I woke up the baby several times because I was LOLing reading that autocorrect link.
Nice!
Omg – I think the wheat bread cookies are genious too! Maybe I’ll try to convince my future kids that broccoli is just dyed chocolate… π
Love it!
I’m crying from laughter at all the autocorrects…and I love the Lady Gaga thing…ha!
The auto corrects are ridiculous.
I’m really quite envious! I so wish my husband and I had children.
Children are a wonderful, exhausting, crazy ride.
Mark my words. She will grow up disturbed…NC…Healthy! But disturbed π
Phew, wouldn’t want her being boring.
Dang! Why didn’t I think of that with Katy Perry? My kids think her CD only has 3 songs on it.
Nice. Katy Perry is a tricky one too sometimes.
Love this post – when the boys were teenagers, I assured them that I had money set aside for their therapy bills for which I would no doubt be the cause. The bad news – they believed me. The good news – they didn’t need it. They’re remarkable young men…
That is wonderful!
That last one might make it worse for you than for her. I went to a school where my mom worked at, and it was ALL GOOD, until high school. Procrastination got me into trouble, and my mom is one of those people who gets very very sad when her child is criticized. If you’re like that, you might regret that school choice later. π Just a “heads up”.
Yes, but all the teachers kids go there. So, it is quite the norm. Plus the other schools in the area are quite crime ridden and violent. Not an option.
Mahahahaha! This had me in stitches π
Good!
It’s amazing how creative you become when you are a mother…the possibilities are endless. Hahaha
It is quite amazing.
Oh my gosh, that link is absolutely TOO funny! Thanks! My wife and son heard me laughing all the way down stairs.
It is quite hilarious. Glad you enjoyed it!
Oh, that cookie thing…LOL You are my kind of mom. I love to screw my kids up. When they finally figure out they’ve been duped, I earn another gem for my Mom Crown. Whoo hoo!
We get crowns? That is super cool. Maybe mine got lost in the mail.
You get it in the hospital when you give birth. It’s very ugly, homely in fact. Perhaps you didn’t realize just what it was as you were emptying the bassinet of all the wipes, diapers, and other “stuff you paid for.” You should go back to L&D ward and demand it, dammit. You gotta have a place for those gems.
Or, you can make your own…
Ooh totally making my own.
You’re hilarious! ANd I’ll watch the autocorrects later. It’s taking forever to load.
Do read them. I promise you it will be worth it.
Ha I wonder what horrible/wonderful things I will do to my child. They’re so easy to trick π
The cell phone bloopers make me think iPhone made those autocorrects on purpose!
They do seem to funny to be real.